Life tool #1 The Two Husbands in the Kitchen: The whole story

What is considered impossible anger? It means that we will want to make anger be impossible – impossible to let these emotions happen in our life again. Getting upset and angry will only steal our time. Let’s make this anger impossible with amazing ways of achieving this state of mind.

Impossible anger. Another way to say is You will never get upset again. Why did u call this level as impossible anger? This is translated into many languages. Different languages team asked me what it means by impossible anger. We want to reach the place where the place your ager is impossible. You all know that I help to set up the diamond company. I like to tell one important story about my boss. At the very beginning we only had 3 workers. Then we have 10 thousand workers. We had a very important order form the biggest jewelry shop they ordered 1 million worth of diamond. So with my assistant, due to nervousness when the security came earlier.  Quickly I wrote the address and tied up the box. And suddenly they just drove away. Then I realized I wrote the wrong address. 

It meant that the millions worth of diamond will go to a house who didn’t know about it at all. And I forgot about the insurance also. So I had to go and tell the office. So My assistant and I went to his house. He had a smile and speak very gently.

The 1million worth of diamond to send to somewhere. The biggest sale ever, I apologized to him that I have made a mistake. What mistake was that. I said I wrote wrong address. Someone would receive 1million worth of diamond in surprise. His reaction was just ok, ok, ok. He didn’t get angry. 

We had been working together for 19 years. He was like that always. I never saw him get angry even 1 time. At that time, I was staying with my Philosophy teacher. He is the no. 1 teacher. My teacher got angry often but my boss never got angry at all. Then This diamond company grew and grew become the top diamond company 

How to make this anger impossible? Not only the company but also in the family. It is difficult to imagine that. So the goal here is not to teach anger management. So L10 the title is not angle management. Rather to make anger impossible.

Lifetool #1 The Two Husbands in The Kitchen

This lady has 3 difficult things to do, She has the job in a big company, she also has a husband who doesn’t like to do the housework. She has so many things to do and she has to wake up early, take care kids, make breakfast, send the kids to school and rush to the office. She is busy every day.

One day, she rushed to the school and the teachers also impatience. Then she rushed back to work and rush for cooking dinner. She started asking her kids to sleep at night and she told her kids that they have to wake up 1 hour earlier, to ensure everything is settled and ready. Her kids agreed.

The next morning, when she opened the door, she saw your kids were still playing and nothing is ready. As a mum, she has so much pressure, she might be terminated by her boss. Therefore, she became so angry and she shouted at her kids “You two are the dumbest kids in Singapore”.

These curse words went from the mother’s mouth to the child’s ears, but there was a third person in this room who heard these words. She herself heard what she said, “You are the dumbest child in Singapore”.

These voices left an imprint in her consciousness. Those imprints will become seeds in the subconscious, and bad seeds will stay in consciousness. It’s interesting that when we put these seeds in our consciousness, we don’t feel anything. The seeds are silently put into your consciousness, which is very dangerous.

Then on an ordinary Tuesday, she got up early, took the children to school, went to work, and then picked up the children, rushed to the supermarket, and went home. When she walked to the front door of her house, sometimes she may ask herself, not only do I have to take care of the children, I have to go to work, I also have a third job, I want to be a good wife and a good daughter. Maybe sometimes she almost wants to give up. These seeds are now in the mother’s consciousness.

Sometimes some mothers may have given up. But this mother loves her husband very much, she likes his hug very much, it makes her very sweet, which makes her feel very happy. She took the things bought from the supermarket and opened the kitchen door. She was thinking in her heart that her husband would say thank you to her, create income for the family, take care of the children, and cook… She expects her husband to open the kitchen door to do this. she says. She saw him standing by the refrigerator door, expecting a hug.

But when her husband saw her, he immediately scolded: You are really stupid! Stupid, stupid!

She was thinking in her heart, I didn’t do anything, what was he talking about? He suddenly became angry and called me a fool.

IS THIS REAL?

Did she really do nothing, and her husband called her stupid and stupid? Everyone knows: “The pen comes from me”, the seed of my consciousness. When the seed of consciousness opens, a small picture comes out, the picture of the pen, to the shape of the pen, force me see the pen. When the dog’s seeds are opened in consciousness, the small consciousness opens, and it is a picture of a chew toy. For a puppy, this is a chew toy. You all know that pen comes from me, from the seeds in my mind. When the seeds in my mind opens, a small picture comes out. The picture of this pen, then I see this pen. The dog has different seed, a small picture comes out. A chew toy picture comes out. The same thing, the dog seeds chew toy. The same thing, human sees pen.

When the wife opened the door, suddenly the seeds planted last week: So when she yelled at the children the most stupid children in Singapore, she heard her own words. The stupid seeds open when she opened the kitchen door, so the husband shouted at her “You were so stupid!” If she doesn’t understand pen story, then she will say I didn’t do anything, why did he yell at me. So it is possible to get angry. 

In life, every person who criticize you, make you upset hundreds thousands of them, they come from you. If you are angry or getting upset about others often in a day, this upset feeling, then next week you will see people who upset you, then you feel further upset then you make new seeds to meet people who make you upset again.

Just like this lady in the kitchen, she means I am not stupid, you are stupid. Then what will happen next week? The kids will make her upset and she scolds her kids again, Then another week, when she gets homes looking for a hug from the husband, the husband will say you are stupid. SO this like a circle, again and again. So when you open the kitchen door, you say you didn’t do anything, But actually you did something. You yelled at the  1) The pen comes from your mind2) The pen comes from the dog, the chew toy pen 

So is there a pen comes from the pen???? It is impossible the pen comes from the pen.When you get angry or a little bit upset in your whole life, the person that you are angry at, they don’t even exist. How many times, thousands of times, you get upset. It only if you don’t understand pen, then you get upset. If you know that if this comes from your own seed, you won’t get upset. 

So when the husband said you are stupid, then you will stop scolding back, Then this way this person will be impossible to get angry. Then they won’t waste time in anger. Then these people will have successful work and company.

This lifetool is telling us that the husband is coming from the seed in our mind. The husband that is not coming from me is never exist. If you understand the pen.  The impossible anger is not an emotion anger course. It is teaching us never to get angry anymore.

Do you remember the third pen that teacher was talking about? It is the impossible pen. This is very important , we must remember. Many of us attended many courses or some heard the two husband in the kitchen for the first time. Many people do not have big anger but do feel upset a lot of time. This upset took up a lot of our time. Geshe Michael mentioned about 2 husbands. 1st husband coming from my seeds. 2nd husband is “never do anything husband”. This husband does not exist.

Geshe Michael mentioned a very important point. When we see a pen, it is the image in our head that ripen and we see pen. The seed is last week she scolded her child. She has planted the seed and the moment she opened the door, luminous picture projected and she sees a husband scolded her.  The seed of scolding children ripen and makes us see our husband scolded us. If we understand this, we will not be angry. However, throughout the years the people whom make us angry, where are they coming from? It is coming from the seed in our mind. If we can be clear about this, we will not be angry of the people who scolded us. We won’t scold back.

Jenny’s life example T. Jenny and his son has an unhappy past. There was a period of time she and her husband felt helpless. They didn’t understand why her son is so bad tempered and at one point they thought he was possessed. She used 2 husbands in the kitchen lifetools. She realized she always throws temper and black face to his husband. Therefore, a bad temper son is coming from her throwing temper and black face to her husband. She stopped throwing tantrum to her husband and now she sees a good temper son.

Lifetool #2 Why to hate anger

Teacher Jasmine sharing: 

What is good root? we are so used to put $ in our bank (electronic) Imagine a hacker enters our bank account silently and wiped out the entire account. Wiping out all your account which you have painstakingly put in. Imagine this bank is just like your seeds account.

This seeds account are waiting to ripen. in 5 areas of your life:

1) Financial freedom

2) relationship

3) Peace

4) good health

5) help the world

imagine Anger is just like the hacker. because of anger hacker, your entire account is wiped out by its invasion.And some good seeds which you feel will ripen vanish because of your anger. And all the good seeds you have planted are lost with your anger.

Do you want this to happen?

Do you want to lose beautiful things in your life due to anger?

my answer will be NO.

Seeds law: what you planted, it will have an outcome.

How anger hacker wiped out my good seeds.

Is there a way I can protect all these good seeds?

2 ways to protect your good seeds

1) You don’t have to seeds planting.. But YOU HAVE TO ADD INTENTION like planting money. So that when you are successful, you can influence others to be successful. so more people will be successful. This is RAW intention.

2) NOT BE ANGRY however this is tough especially in times of frustration. main point from LT1: 2 husbands in the kitchen. when you get angry, you must have forgotten the seeds come from you. It is a destructible force when you are angry. Like a small child did his wooden bricks, and once he turned around, the whole brick model collapsed.

Just like the boy, he didn’t know what happened and started crying. u r just like the small kid.

WE cannot destroy seeds completely. If we use the right methods, we can ripen the bad seeds faster. Anger will destroy the deep freeze good seeds and you will never see the outcome. This is dangerous because for the first 10-20years , we are unsure if the system works. we are trying out the system.

The collateral damage will be we lose hope that 4steps doesn’t work

From T. Max Result of Anger and hidden cause. Shantideva some cause that we can see and some we can’t see directly. just like hackers that steal our seeds. There is also another list, first on the list, there is anger. It could hurt our mind. And this you don’t need to wait for bad seed to ripen. Anger can immediately makes you uncomfortable. Even before you talk to someone else or take action. This action already affecting your mind and this is rapid result. Our mind is like crystal lake. When we get up in the morning, our crystal lake is quite calm. But when someone is yelling at you, our mind start to get off balance. This is the sign of the 4 stages of anger. When this person start to scold you, your crystal lake start to have ripple. You will start to feel uncomfortable even before someone telling you something.

Is this uncomfortable feeling coming from this people in front of you? No..No. No. from 2 Husband in the kitchen. We know it is not coming from the other person.

T.Peter’s Sharing Remembered met Stanley in the bathroom and asked him a question. But he has a very different opinion. He likes and respected Stanley and realized he was right. Thank you to Stanley for reminding him as he realized he has the same understanding , just that he forgot about it.

Max’s Sharing Has a very good platform to practice anger. He got married and has kids and at the same time, parents live with him and he has his own business. Surrounded by all sort of anger environment. Want to share a business example. His client gave a quotation and he gave quotation to his client but order was delayed and client got penalty fine for the delay. Everyone got angry due to the delay. Reminded him that everything come from pen. when he got angry, he started to do yoga and meditation. He started to imagine that he is the other party and what the other party would want to hear. He told the other party, he will take the responsibility to bear the cost. It is amazing that even before his goods are out, order kept coming through. A very effective method to counter attack anger.

Life tool #2 recap

let’s recap..

When we are angry, we can see 2 issues- invisible & visible issues

when we are angry, we will hurt our fertile soils, our family and friends. Our health will also be hurt with our unkind speech.  Invisible hurt when we are angry- Anger is like hackers. It wiped out the entire everything. All our 5 life goals are burnt.

This is scary because our seeds are burnt when we are angry. This is contrary to why we learn to plant seeds

We don’t control our anger in this seeds system. So what do we do? Remember the 2 husbands in the kitchen. Remember the 3rd pen. The hubby who scolds, the kids who don’t listen to us,  4 Powers-1) When we do bad things, we use 4P to let the seeds ripen faster. so that less damage is done.

1) was supposed to meet with an accident but instead now is a 2hr headache.

2) 4P stops the bad seeds from happening.

BUT…

Our thoughts are important. when we deem things come from others, we actually feed it with bad thoughts. ( the pen coming from pen) This fuels more bad things. This prevents us from reaching our goals. We have wrong world views. More bad outcomes ensued.

This makes us feel worse.

so how can we protect our good seeds?1) when using 4 steps, our intention must focus out. I hope I use 4 steps to reach my financial goals so to influence others to do the same. When we CM at night (CM is our intention nourishment) , this will activate our good seeds to let it ripen faster.

during CM, eg. today I’m cool to donate, give $ to my parents etc. I’ve planted a $$$ seed. Let me be successful to plant out my money and I can be a virus to influence others to do the same. Your intention is important. Good intention nourishment will safeguard your good seeds and will not be burnt by the anger

stop being angry at the 2nd hubby, kids give nourishment to your seeds during CM. be happy doing it.  remember the pan example by T Max. when our friends and family members remind us not to be angry and we do not heed it. Even if the pan is hot and burning, you are holding on so tightly.

Do remember to let go so that you will not be burnt by the burning pan. ( stop burning your seeds and hurting yourself)

T Sonny’s method.

one palm: writes “HACKER”

the other palm writes “VIRUS”

Lifetool 3 – Anger Warrior

Happy to meet a warrior that never be defeated. She can beat 10 or 100 people. Like in America, we have this kind of warrior – Macho Dude- tough guy. Very popular in America. Every guys dream to become macho dude. They are very tough in movie but yet very compassionate. Sometimes they encounter problems but eventually resolved them. 

What is a real warrior ? In the ancient India, there will be burning coal with tough guys walking on them . If you can do that, you are a tough guy. In ancient times, they call them “tapas” or hot.

In many countries “Fat Cat” is tough guy, powerful person. Rich and powerful. Shantideva has a different perception of tough guy.

Shantideva said this lady is tougher than any tough guy. Why ? This is the lady that came home and husband is yelling at her. She was hoping husband to give her a hug but was scolded by her husband. Luckily she came to DCI program and understands pen. She understands pen comes from her. The prove is very simple. When a dog looks at pen, it sees something to chew. When human looks a it, they see a pen.

Shantideva said she is a real warrior, real powerful person. Why ? Those Kongfu guy or America super heroes, they are not strong. They are weak.  Why ? the looks like tough guys. This lady doesn’t look like thought guy. Those that can fight their anger or own mind, that’s real warrior. So, don’t look at muscles or sword, look at the mindset. She knows the pen, her husband scolded her stupid, at that moment, she fights with her anger. She started to feel upset. She just opened door and didn’t do anything. At that moment, she went to battle field. At that moment , she became warrior. GMR saw the movie – Ip Man. He likes how he started the fight, by showing his hands (open his palm). This lady is better than IP Man. Insider war is tougher than outside world ( outside money, war, business). Inside war is hard to win. It takes more courage to fight the inner war. It is easy to kill with a gun.

When GMR was 12 years old. His father gave him a big gun and taught him how to shoot. He was good at it. 12 years old kid can hit a target.

When GMR was in the college. He was in the rowing team. He told his coach he can’t join due to busy study schedule but he coach advised him to do some sport for his health. He learned Tae Kwan Do and it is not easy. The reason why he gave up Tae Kwan Do as I hurt myself during a competition. I couldn’t walk for 6 weeks. It took many hours of practice.

To fight with anger in your own mind is much more difficult. You have to practice.

When GMR was in the college. He was in the rowing team. He told his coach he can’t join due to busy study schedule but he coach advised him to do some sport for his health. He learned Tae Kwan Do and it is not easy. The reason why he gave up Tae Kwan Do as I hurt myself during a competition. I couldn’t walk for 6 weeks. It took many hours of practice.

To fight with anger in your own mind is much more difficult. You have to practice.

The Wushu in mind need practice and training.

Someone told GMR he can be famous or popular amongst girls if he learns basketball. No one said wants to learn how to manage anger.

If no one can upset you, no business problem can upset you or marriage problem can upset you, then you are a real warrior.

You will never see advertisement that will help you to be an anger master. Come to GMR and he will teach you how to be come an anger master.  What is an Anger Master ? When you do not get angry over all the things that happened around you. Traffic jam, business issue, health issue, etc.

No matter what happen, you do not want to get angry. Get upset is a small anger. There is a problem with anger. When you let your mind to get angry, it will destroy your seeds silently and secretly. You won’t even know. The next day after anger, your business get tough, kids get crazy, wife not kind, your became tired. Whole life is more difficult. What happened ? Because you got angry yesterday and you lost all the good seeds. Next day you feel tired and everything not going well. You use 4 steps but you didn’t achieve your goals but you got upset and wipe out your good seeds. Like you never done the 4 steps and you complain 4 steps doesn’t walk.

You use 4 steps but you didn’t achieve your goals but you got upset and wipe out your good seeds. Like you never done the 4 steps and you complain 4 steps doesn’t work.

There is lot of stupid people in the world to practice your anger. We are lucky to have a lot stupid people to practice our anger.

GMR has done 3 years of retreat and he can’t meet anyone to practice his anger. But he has many irritating mice came into his house. He was lucky he can practice his anger control with them.

If you want to fight your anger, you  need practice and training. Training is through talking and learning. Just like this DCI course, there is a lot of pages. Why ? There is thousands of anger. You need a lot of training and practice. If you don’t have fighting partner, you can get married or have kids. You can practice with your parents or start a business to practice with business partner or staffs. Then you can be an ANGER MASTER

What is the goal of DCI Level 10. We want to kill our anger. We are like the sword lady, she is looking for the weak spot – Hata. Mama Hata is to hit the weak spot.

The person who can control the anger and do anything. Can be successful in anything.

There is FOUR stages of anger

Stage 4 – Resentment Common happened in ex-wife or ex-husband. Resentment is when after you divorced for few years, you still feel hurt and hate that person. You still think about it, can’t be he or she divorced you or cheated on you. That anger is very strong. GMR heard a nun gave a very good talk. He said 10 years after your partner said something to you, you still remember all the details, where you stand or what they said. But the other party might have forgotten even after 5 mins.

Resentment is anger that you hold on to for many years. Like stone in your heart. Good time to fight anger. GMR is telling a sad story. He got a document from his sister-in-law. It was the death certificates of his mother-in-law for the past 35 years, but past away two weeks ago. In America, you must call a special police to check the heart. It took 10 mins to check even though we can see she was dead. It was painful to wait and see through that. GMR was fighting his anger. He said he knows she past away an hour ago. The reason of the death was Stage 4 cancer.

The resentment you have for your partner for 20 years is Stage 4 Anger. It is too late to fight as it was 20 years ago. No point.

What is stage 3  – Angry

It is when you are yelling, your face is red and you are out of breath. You will say nasty thing. It is temporary crazy.

Is Stage 3 anger an appropriate stage to kill the anger ? NO.

Stage 2  – Upset

Upset but quite. You feel upset but you are not yelling. The anger has not control your mind. Maybe 75% of your mind. Usually upset is the quiet disguise in your mind. You are wondering why, but not angry yet. It is going through your mind every mins and hours. It is possible to fight your anger at this stage but the odd of winning is not very good. There is fighting in America. The odd will be display to show the winning percentage of the fighter.  There will be odd of 75% and 25%. The money you bet on the 75% fighter will not be much. You can fight with anger , but you will only have 25% winning. Maybe you should fight earlier.

Stage 1 Anger Someone commented that your performance is not very good yesterday and you started to feel in-balance. You start to feel upset. You don’t really understand what they said. That is stage 1. If you don’t stop it, you will get upset in 10 mins. If you don’t stop that, in 40 mins you will start yelling. If you don’t stop that, you will still feel angry after 20 years. The first 5 mins is the time to kill the anger. When you walk into the kitchen to expect hug from your husband, your husband scolded you. That is the time to fight the anger. Remember pen, remember it comes from you as you scolded your kids last week. You will not get angry to plant more bad seeds. Then you will win by fighting your anger. Cut the anger at the weak point when you start to feel in-balance.

If you fight with your anger. The anger person seeds will get lesser. You will meet less angry people in your life.

Killing blow What is an Anger Master ? When you do not get angry over all the things that happened around you. Traffic jam, business issue, health issue, etc. You will never see advertisement that will help you to be an anger master. Come to GMR and he will teach you how to be come an anger master.

What is an Anger Master ?

When you do not get angry over all the things that happened around you. Traffic jam, business issue, health issue, etc.

Class 3 essence After learning this tool. We will become a true warrior. So in the past hours, did you plant focus seed, wisdom seed?  The tool that we just learned is Anger Warrior. We learn this tool, we want to make anger impossible. How can I make use of this life tool to fight my anger? Hit on the weakest spot. Why is this tool called Mancho man? True warrior? That is fight internal war, shantideva said very few people can fight our internal battle How to find the weakest point?4 stages of anger4th stage – resentment It is like the 4th stage of our cancer, imagine when we are near death, it is not easy to fight this cancer3rd stage – anger. When you are angry what do you do? I will yell . The main purpose is to hurt another person. I bang table.

When we do something to do something will hurt the person

Lifetool #4

Teacher Sharon Recap

Apart of Anger , what other action can we do ? Has anyone thought of what is the reason of us having new methods to manage anger. Not all method is workable. To think what is everything come from. In our life there is many problem but we don’t have to look for other method but just remember the pen. But ancient method may still work but how can we do it to make sure it work? In our lifetool four, seeds can be destroyed silently through anger. So, the usual method of letting go, is it good ? Anything happened has a time game. In level 12, we know time is emptiness. When we plant our seeds, when will they ripen ? When we plant seeds and it just disappear when you get angry.

The Four Stages of Anger. The First or the 2nd stages can possibly escalated to the next level. So, we must be aware in order for us to stop the anger from escalation. Must break the linkage to get angry, our sheshin, will alert us that we are getting angry. Think what can you do , what seeds in the past that we can focus on and recalled what you have done in the past to get the feeling of anger. Recalled it so you can prevent yourself from planting the similar seed. GMR mentioned that when he found his teacher, his teacher is just near to him. He doesn’t have to travel far to find him. This reminds you that you teacher is just near you. You can try to think that the person making you angry is your teacher.

Step 1: Aware of She-Shin

Step 2: Think about your goal ( Example , get respected)

Step 3: 4 steps ( Respect Others)

Reverse Operations ( Use action to turn our mindset)

 There is a lot of anger management. Every year there is new methods, because not every time it works. There is only one method is DC, from mindset and action to evaluate what is working. Depends on what actin we are taking. There are two methods :1) Hold it  2) Let it goDuring the selection process, it is diamond deal. Regular methods may work, but must be supported by seeds. The risk of seeds management; time gap. If we let it go , these seeds will stay forever. There are 4 stages of anger. During our first stage when we are off balance, we can first aware of our she-shin, think back our goal and what can we do to stop it.  During anger starvation, know what need to be done and act right away. If nothing can be done, is letting go going to work ? This is not working, we will only plant more bad seeds. Maybe we can think how we help others in the past to relax, this bring us away from our imbalance state.

Lifetool #5 – Anger Helpers

Life Tool five Seed Burning Buddies

Sheshin is a watcher about our thought when you seeing yourself off balance going through different stages of anger.   And When we can’t use our clear thinking to deal with anger. We can try this trick and lets is take a look at past before start talking about this life tool 

This life tool is 4 powers.  We use 4 powers to weaken the bad seeds we planted. Lets recall the 4 powers. 

Step 1 : remembering the pen. We couldn’t control yourself when angry and we yelled someone, I planted the seed and this seed will come back to me.

Step 2: intelligent regret (Poison picture). If we drink poison, we don’t have time to think  how stupid am i , we will take immediate action to cleat the poison.

Step 3: promise to stop angry

Step 4: balance the action-  opposite of what you did

We want to take 4 powers deeper. 4 powers technically don’t destroy bad seeds, it just make them prematurely. It just makes it open faster. If I tell you there is another way to make it deeper, this is what this tool really wants to show. Let’s do some clear thinking Everything in the world is coming from our seeds. Each person has their own seeds. Our reality changes depending on our seeds. We heard about the pen , dog see it as  chew toy,  we see it as a pen.  If there is a third secret way, if we change the seed, we can change the way of seeing the world.

Pen is no longer a pen and we need some magic about it. This is the 1st part of this life tool

This pen will be a magic weapon. Why am I talking about this ? We are like this pen. We can’t know what’s going on in people’s minds and seeds. Is it possible people make us angry and see things differently ? is it very possible people could be angry ? My vision of them is like a dog see pen as  a chewy toy . maybe there can be something further than a pen? People who are angry may not be angry , they are actually helping us? They are here to help us. I think many parents can easily connect with this idea. I had a son a few months ago. Sometimes you need to pretend to discipline the child. You may not be angry, but you have to pretend to be angry. For example, my son likes to grab things and put them in his mouth, so we have to be very serious and tell him not to do this, it is dangerous.

Why do I want to say that, just like parents treat their children, other people treat us in the same way as parents, to help us

Where does this system come from? DCIG idea comes from ancient wisdom 2500 years ago, the Diamond Sutra has been circulating for many years. You can call it the best-selling book. Many families in Asian countries have this book. We can see how many people use DCI to get what they want. If this system has a history of 2500 years, there must be many people who are master of 4 steps. Can you imagine becoming a master of 4 steps?  Any behavior, speech, and thinking are planted through 4 steps. This is our goal. 4 steps are used every moment, every day If there are at least some master of 4 steps  who have at least 2500 years of history, they have a perfect understanding of the pen and are willing to take care of anyone, because they know they want to get it and let others get it first.

Pushing through pain. How can we use it to deplete the bad seeds. I start by acknowledge you. The truth is you join in DCI course, you are already helping others. Everyday we meet unpleasant things. The main thing to know it is a step by step thing. We can view ourselves as in the 4step biz.

It takes practice to accept other people’s criticism and insults, and even physical pain without getting angry.  It is good to see it as a long term goal, like a marathon. Nobody is able to run a marathon with preparation. You may failed but it’s about getting back up and keep trying. It isn’t about how many times we failed, it’s about how we keep getting back, keep trying.

To see how these people who annoyed us to see them as anger helpers, may not be easy at first, but keep trying.

Next we have this boxer who get motivated further seeing the blood. Others may faint away. This is creating a chance to create a habit when we have anger. It is to have a habit to gain our strength

It is not about to cope with this irritation. What we want to do is to eliminate these irritating people. When we face this irritation moment, we can use tool to help us to protect good seeds, planting good seeds, taking bad seeds out of the store. These are the 2 things we have to remember. Visualizing people who come to help us to premature these bad seeds. Net is this boxer tool, the bigger problem it is, you get stronger. it is a step by step process. We can transform this negative situation into a good chance to plant good seeds. And get this determination and joy in the process of challenge.

It is not easy, Key point is to keep trying. As you try it gets habitual and stronger. In long term, we are growing. How to do this, to have the boxer mind

We will learn the spirit of the challenge of a boxer, to cope with our challenge

If we need to remember 2 things, these are the two: 1. Good for us to be open to the possibilities of anger helpers around us. Visualizing people to help us burn our bad seeds prematurely.  2. 2nd boxer state – the more problem comes my way, the stronger we get.

Because it is the biggest opportunity to get rid of that in the future.

Just remember that this is a step by step class. Keep this joy and determination especially when the going gets tough. Admittedly, it isn’t easy to putt this lifetool into practice, it is all about trying and trying. It will slowly become habit. We get good and bad days, but overall we are growing. The way to make this happen is to have the mentality of the 2nd boxer state.

Jenny Recap

4 powers & 4 steps: these are the 2 basic tools to help us. 4 powers we use it to expedite the bad seeds to ripen. However in tool 5, we think of the anger helper as someone who helps us to expedite this process.  4 steps: using 4 steps to help us transform to a great master.

The person who makes us angry could very well be the 4steps master. sacrifice himself to help us expedite our bad seeds to ripen.

if a person/situation who/which makes us angry, there are 3 reactions:1) first reaction: pay back- this will increase our angry seeds. invite more angry people/situations into our lives in future. 2) second reaction: postman. The person is just giving me back the bad seeds I’ve planted before.

3) third reaction: ANGER HELPER

The one who helps me to expedite my bad seeds to ripen. my benefactor … we express gratitude to them

Eg. someone cut your lane.

Usually your anger will rise! However, if you can see that this driver is here to protect your life to prevent a more serious accident to happen, you will turn around the anger and transform it into gratitude. When we feel gratitude towards the anger helpers, we invite more gratitude into our lives.

Becoming a role model.

When I catch myself in the blackhole or feel negative, how will I be?

The person who test my patience, is teaching me to express gratitude. To express gratitude to the people around me who have been helping me. Using 4 steps and write out a gratitude list. Make 4 steps part of your life.  The best way to do is to show care and concern. Turn the problem makers in your life to anger helpers--> help you increase your capabilities.

Treat all anger helpers with gratitude.

To treat all anger helpers with 4 steps to turn around the situation.

Lifetool#4 – Ridiculous Anger

Stanley’s sharing 

We start with the myth that anger is ridiculous: It’s a pressure cooker that cooks good rice You may often hear people say: We should not suppress our anger, we need to release and watch. Otherwise the pressure in this pressure cooker is getting worse for you. That’s what my business partner said, that I should not be depressed. It’s a fragile, weak image. If you can express your anger, you are strong in business in the city where I live, we have courses like this for you to call out your anger. Rage. When we are DCI learners, we need to start our clear thinking: Is it really effective to express anger? Can it help you? If you think from a seed perspective. 

Life Tool#5 – Anger Helper

She shin is a watcher about our thought when you seeing yourself off balance going through different stages of anger.   And When we can’t use our clear thinking to deal with anger. We can try this trick and lets is take a look at past before start talking about this life tool 

This life tool is 4 powers.  We use 4 powers o weaken the bad seeds we planted. Lets recall the 4 powers. 

Step 1 : remembering the pen. We couldn’t control yourself when angry and we yelled someone, I planted the seed and this seed will come back to me.

Step 2: intelligent regret (Poison picture). If we drink poison, we don’t have time to think  how stupid am i , we will take immediate action to cleat the posion.

Step 3: promise to stop angry Step 4: balance the action-  opposite of what you did

We want to take 4 powers deeper. 4 powers technically don’t destroy bad seeds, it just make them prematurely. It just makes it open faster. If I tell you there is another way to make it deeper, this is what this tool really wants to show. Let’s do some clear thinking Everything in the world is coming from our seeds. Each person has their own seeds. Our reality changes depending on our seeds. We heard about the pen , dog see it as  chew toy,  we see it as a pen.  If there is a third secret way, if we change the seed, we can change the way of seeing the world.

Pen is no longer a pen and we need some magic about it. This is the 1st part of this life tool

This pen will be a magic weapon. Why am I talking about this ? We are like this pen. We can’t know what’s going on in people’s minds and seeds. Is it possible people make us angry and see things differently ? is it very possible people could be angry ? My vision of them is like a dog see pen as  a chewy toy . maybe there can be something further than a pen? People who are angry may not be angry , they are actually helping us? They are here to help us. I think many parents can easily connect with this idea. I had a son a few months ago. Sometimes you need to pretend to discipline the child. You may not be angry, but you have to pretend to be angry. For example, my son likes to grab things and put them in his mouth, so we have to be very serious and tell him not to do this, it is dangerous.

Why do I want to say that, just like parents treat their children, other people treat us in the same way as parents, to help us

Where does this system come from? DCIG idea comes from ancient wisdom 2500 years ago, the Diamond Sutra has been circulating for many years. You can call it the best-selling book. Many families in Asian countries have this book. We can see how many people use DCI to get what they want. If this system has a history of 2500 years, there must be many people who are master of 4 steps. Can you imagine becoming a master of 4 steps?  Any behavior, speech, and thinking are planted through 4 steps. This is our goal. 4 steps are used every moment, every day If there are at least some master of 4 steps  who have at least 2500 years of history, they have a perfect understanding of the pen and are willing to take care of anyone, because they know they want to get it and let others get it first.

Pushing through pain. How can we use it to deplete the bad seeds. I start by acknowledge you. The truth is you join in DCI course, you are already helping others. Everyday we meet unpleasant things. The main thing to know it is a step by step thing. We can view ourselves as in the 4step biz.

It takes practice to accept other people’s criticism and insults, and even physical pain without getting angry.  It is good to see it as a long term goal, like a marathon. Nobody is able to run a marathon with preparation. You may failed but it’s about getting back up and keep trying. It isn’t about how many times we failed, it’s about how we keep getting back, keep trying.

To see how these people who annoyed us to see them as anger helpers, may not be easy at first, but keep trying.

Next we have this boxer who get motivated further seeing the blood. Others may faint away. This is creating a chance to create a habit when we have anger. It is to have a habit to gain our strength

It is not about to cope with this irritation. What we want to do is to eliminate these irritating people. When we face this irritation moment, we can use tool to help us to protect good seeds, planting good seeds, taking bad seeds out of the store. These are the 2 things we have to remember. Visualizing people who come to help us to premature these bad seeds. Net is this boxer tool, the bigger problem it is, you get stronger. it is a step by step process. We can transform this negative situation into a good chance to plant good seeds. And get this determination and joy in the process of challenge.

It is not easy, Key point is to keep trying. As you try it gets habitual and stronger. In long term, we are growing. How to do this, to have the boxer mind

We will learn the spirit of the challenge of a boxer, to cope with our challenge

If we need to remember 2 things, these are the two: 1. Good for us to be open to the possibilities of anger helpers around us. Visualizing people to help us burn our bad seeds prematurely.  2. 2nd boxer state – the more problem comes my way, the stronger we get.

Because it is the biggest opportunity to get rid of that in the future.

Just remember that this is a step by step class. Keep this joy and determination especially when the going gets tough. Admittedly, it isn’t easy to putt this lifetool into practice, it is all about trying and trying. It will slowly become habit. We get good and bad days, but overall we are growing. The way to make this happen is to have the mentality of the 2nd boxer state.

Jenny Recap

4 powers & 4 steps: these are the 2 basic tools to help us. 4 powers we use it to expedite the bad seeds to ripen. However in tool 5, we think of the anger helper as someone who helps us to expedite this process.  4 steps: using 4 steps to help us transform to a great master.

The person who makes us angry could very well be the 4steps master. sacrifice himself to help us expedite our bad seeds to ripen.

if a person/situation who/which makes us angry, there are 3 reactions:

1) First reaction: pay back- this will increase our angry seeds. invite more angry people/situations into our lives in future.

2) Second reaction: postman. The person is just giving me back the bad seeds I’ve planted before.

3) Third reaction: ANGER HELPER

The one who helps me to expedite my bad seeds to ripen. my benefactor … we express gratitude to them

Eg. someone cut your lane.

Usually your anger will rise! However, if you can see that this driver is here to protect your life to prevent a more serious accident to happen, you will turn around the anger and transform it into gratitude. When we feel gratitude towards the anger helpers, we invite more gratitude into our lives.

Becoming a role model.

When I catch myself in the blackhole or feel negative, how will I be?

The person who test my patience, is teaching me to express gratitude. To express gratitude to the people around me who have been helping me. Using 4 steps and write out a gratitude list. Make 4 steps part of your life.  The best way to do is to show care and concern. Turn the problem makers in your life to anger helpers--> help you increase your capabilities

Treat all anger helpers with gratitude.

To treat all anger helpers with 4 steps to turn around the situation.

Lifetool #6 – Live on Poison

Living on poison – to transform the idea, help the difficult idea to positive one.

living on poison – to transform the idea, help the difficult situation to positive one.

kyedup chipa = if we happy we happy together, if we sad we sad together. 有福同享，有难同当

Lifetool 6: Live on Poison The basic idea is transforming anger. Instead of avoiding difficult situation , we are looking for difficult situation. We are amazing warrior. The Concentric Circle. GMR spent many years in Mongolian Monastery. It was very strict and ran on ideal of concentric circle. As a monk, not allow to have girlfriend, need to focus on the practice. You need recommendation from older monk to enter the monastery. You will go to the office with the older monk. You name your be written in a book with ancient writing Kyedup chipa  – means when we are happy all will be happy, when we are sad, all will be sad. The older monk will sign on the book with your name on it. You will be assigned a tiny room.

It takes 2 to 3 hours to do chanting. All this time, there were 2 men hold up in theirs hand a big piece of paper. The papers are two big Hollywood posters. Those two men when across a corn field to a small village, to a small groceries store to watch American movies which is not allowed. Those are the punishment, to carry the poster. That is the first wall, not allowed to go out of the monastery. The 2nd layer of wall, you are not allowed to be in a room with an opposite sex. The is 2nd layer of protection. If you go to a grocery store with a woman shopkeeper, a 3rd wall of protection will be , you are not allow to sit down in the same room with the lady.  So, there are 3 layers of protection.1) Cannot go out of Monastry2) If out of Monastery, you can not be in the same room of opposite sex

3) If you need to be in the same room of opposite sex, You cannot sit in the same room, you need to stand up

How you can apply concentric circle in your life. In work, someone commented about your performance. You will feel uncomfortable and started to feel imbalance. That is the first wall. 2nd wall, you will start to dislike the person that criticized you. When you breach 2nd wall, getting upset. Try not to go to the 3rd wall. If you reach the 3rd wall, that is when you get angry. If you stay in the first wall, you will not reach the 2nd wall of getting upset. If you reach the 3rd wall , getting angry. Do avoid to go to the 4th wall, you will get upset for the next 2 months.

Stay in 1st wall, then you will not reach to the next wall.

Teacher John’s sharing

Two Powerful Metaphor

1) Flying using the fastest  speed towards your goals,

A real warrior runs towards difficult challenges.

No room for anger, resentment, upset , off balance. We need to learn this course well. A thousand km per hour. Human beings running towards challenges. Peacock warrior. Some birds eat poison. They eat plant that can poison others birds. But this poison not just won’t hurt the peacock but make them more beautiful.  You can see the strength and beauty at the same time. When challenges presents themselves, challenges not from others but from spouses, family, colleagues. We must rises a peacock warrior, not hide difficult conversation or situation but move quickly towards them. In 1992, I went to Moscow. It is a very memorable and  important time as we can fly with Russian team. When we touched down, people ran to us. I can fell the joy and love. We spent a week in Russian and became strong friends. We hold hands and sing together. Before this, we were enemy but we became friends after this. This is because we practice the principle of peacock warrior and I can see DCI warriors.

As a DCI warriors, we will see through the light, run towards challenges, overcome anger, the misunderstanding of another person. Through our learning in DCI Level 10,will make us stronger and prettier.

Teachings from T. Wang Xia She was an angry lady when she was in Apple. That is why she came to DCI to learn DCI 1 to 12. And now she is still an angry lady !! But should she ashamed about it ? Yes and No. This is level 10, and as mentioned she has been through all levels. She know pen story. When she shout at someone, there is no one they. A pen will appear and GMR will ask her , what is this coming from ? Nothing is not coming from myself. So, I should be ashamed of my failure. I couldn’t help to get angry. Recently, I had an angry war with my HP printer. I called the service center for 3 times and problem still not resolved. When told them I have problem with WIFI printer function.

Then she ask her to follow her instruction to check the copier function. She told the person she only need WIFI printer function not copier function. The service center person said will check with technician for help. When they came back and asked her to check the copier function again. She told them again she only need wifi printer function ,not copier function. GMR must be laughing at her on how silly the question is.  GMR said Shantideva did mentioned that it is good to be a peacock warrior but it is actually unrealistic.

British Prime Minister , Winston Churchill said during the darkest days of WWII, he has nothing to offer except blood, toil, tear and sweat. It is the most grievous kind of ordeal, many months of struggle and suffering.. The aim is victory at all cost. Victory is spite of all terrors. Long and hard road ,for without victory, there is no survival.

Teachings from T. Penny Wang – The Beauty of Victory

 We have learn concentric circle to protect of from wall.we also learn how to overcome anger and learn what will happen when we fight our anger. I have 3 girls in my house, my wife and 2 daughter. We have problem to use the washroom. Everyday I am like a peacock warrior. How can I destroy my anger. In DCI we learn about correlation. When we fight, we plant seed.  Now, I want to share to avoid planting bad seed. We are lucky we have ALL. What is the result we can get from winning over anger. The connection come from an Ancient master 2,500 years ago – Arya Nagarjuma. One of the teaching is how to run business. Money coming from giving. If you want to be like Warrant Buffet, you need to give. If you want happiness, be kind to others.

Peace is coming from meditation and freedom comes from wisdom and love accomplish all,

if you can’t remember everything, remember, be kind to all with love.

The most sexy thing is beauty comes from patience.  Patience comes from seeds to make me beautiful and handsome.  So, if you like Wang XIa fighting everyday, you already planting seeds to make yourself beautiful.  I am not saying being angry makes you ugly. My mum used to tell me don’t get angry as when I get angry, creases appear on my forehead. Imaging , we can we plant seed for others to see me as beautiful or handsome.  Take the model in the picture for example, she has a mole on her face. She has beautify seeds to make others see her as beautiful and even there are people going to beauty parlor to have the fake mole on their face. The journey to fight the anger need a lot of tears and sweat, and to use different lifetools, but when we come back, we will become handsome and beautiful.

I am in advertisement industry, woman need 16 beauty products to make them beautiful, but now we can use one easy method in DCI.  An economical way , let us be happy , let’s us have more time to relax.

Each teacher’s sharing：

John‘s challenges in 2 husband in the kitchen. He has a sweet wife but he sometimes will label her. He appreciate the tools to be able to work within, innerly.

Wang Xia likes concentric circle to work towards her war with the printer. To use the concentric circle, 1) she can ask her assistant to call to avoid being angry. If she needs to call herself. 2) The 2nd wall, she will have some good food and drink.3) during the call when she gets upset, She will take the pen out or GMR bookmarks with the pen to remind her when everything is coming from. 4)The 4th wall, she will remember the anger war for few months. She wants to make opportunity to share more of pen story to remind herself of the pen.

Penny has problem with 2 Wives in the Bathrooms. He is very particular about time and his wife spends longer time in the bathroom. to get prepared for an event. He gets upset and sometimes can’t sleep at night. Now, he is happy that he understands this is  maybe the seeds he planted last week. He delayed to send proposal to his partner. This makes him see his wife wants to make everything more perfect (taking more time in the bathroom). He is happy to be a peacock warrior.

GMR

The most challenges he has with anger is when he always feels angry with other drivers when drives. He will try to use lifetool to think what has he done to create these drivers, must be because he gave others pressure in the past.

1. Sunny Essence Summary

LT 6 Peacock Warrior Or Live on Poison. What is the purpose of this lifetool? When we are not happy, our mind detector, to set on sheshin, Now we have to protect, we lose control and become angry. This tool is to check the wall of is protect to check wall of joy. Geshe talked about eccentric walls. Inner most wall – off balance. Checking on the 1st wall.2nd wall is upset3rd wall is anger, starting to yell, bang the table, hit the wall, etc4th wall, resentment, it become hatred. The outtest wall What are these 4 walls try to protect. TO protect our good seeds, the crystal lake.

Lifetool #7 – Nothing is Natural (T Nick) 

In past levels, Achieving our goals In final few levels is about leadership and creativity. 

This level is about the elements blocking us in achieving goal. It is like a battle, to achieve our goal. This is our anger. Why anger Is so dangerous? How it shows it face to? How it blocks our success? You know to be able to win, it is a battle. We have to be a powerful warrior in this fight. Luckily we have a great general to lead us. There is a great master from 8th Century from India, Shantideva. We are going to use some weapons that he gave us. Why do we need weapons? If you notice, getting over your anger is the most difficult to do. It is one to sit in this DCI lecture, sit in meditation to overcome it. But those who has a job, boss, husband, you know it is extremely difficult under such situation. And we need everything the tools to face this enemy. 

So what tools we have? We have meditation practice. We have yoga to help our body. We may have eating to help us. As human, the most

But those who has a job, boss, husband, you know it is extremely difficult under such situation. And we need everything the tools to face this enemy. 

So what tools we have? We have meditation practice. We have yoga to help our body. We may have eating to help us. As human, the most powerful is our thinking. Our general tells us to use clear thinking. It means use logics.

A series of logical steps why it is not reasonable to get angry to help us

We have to be firm and clear mind when we face irritating people. If you want to really have it work, the tip is to beside taking the course, is to meditate. Meditate helps to have clarity to use logics, and able to apply in life, and also to fight anger. So like watching your mind before you get angry. The tool of meditation is also very valuable to ,make anger impossible. You develop the muscle to pull you neck before you get angry, catch that moment.

You have to slow down in order to apply the series of logics thinking steps. You can practice debating or discussion with your friends of you want to master this logics steps. You don’t have to just accept what DCI delivered is true, you can use your own logics to try and prove it is true.

String of logic arguments learns from ShantiDeva is like a debate in mind

Who is our enemy? Look at the pic of bomb. This is the guy the 2 husbands in the kitchen, the attack. Imagine you come home tired, and your partner just gave you lots of work to do. You worked hard, took care children, and many things at home, you hope your partner to give you some peaceful time. Rather he said did you go to do this do that do those… So how did you feel? Me? Do I deserve this? So you  yell, you are wrong!!! Angry and attack back. This to you seems reasonable. It is right isn’t it to yell back. Could be at work the boss. This is our reaction we feel that.

So from here starts the debate. SO you think you should get angry? So we should get angry with the cold? So you should get angry when you get cold? What are you talking about, shantideva? Natural cold just happen what!! Really, cold happens naturally? Oh, there are reasons, like walk under rain, too thin the clothes, etc. These causes, Shantideva says, you should apply these reasons to the person who get angry me. Ya, he is the jerk to be angry. What? No one wants to be mean to you early in the morning? There are also causes in their mind to do this. Maybe they are having a bad day. The point is they are not in control of this happening. They didn’t make the decision. If they could the decision, they won’t upset u.

So when we wake up in the morning, we feel good. But the things happen in the day affect us. So different things collectively affect us and we get angry. So who is the real enemy here? Just think about it. Real enemy is our angry, our negativity. This is the point we treat other badly. When someone hit someone with a stick. Do we blame the stick？ Do we hold the stick, and scold it you stupid, throw it down!!??? This is Shantideva question to us. Will you jump on the stick> Is the stick that hit you? This is a way of debate.

The reply is NO, we wont blame the stick. Shantideva, I want to blame the person who holds the stick who make me angry. No, Shantideva said, you don’t understand the org. chart. You don’t know is in charge. You don’t blame the stick, the lowest worker. You want to blame the person, who hold s the stick. But the person is like the middleman. You cant blame them, they just do what they were told. SO once, we have to think deeply who is the person in charge behind?

Many things, as human, we think that the person hit us wants to hurt us. Shantideva, says the person has no control. Once again, who is our real enemy? Who is the person in charge?  is our anger. Shantideva debate dawns on us to think who is our real enemy. It is anger in general. It is negativity in general, I mean the misunderstanding of the other person’s action.

If there is any moment who is upsetting you, it is the enemy and the misunderstanding in the mind. So it is not the person who scolds you. The real warrior, we have to turn on all situation where the attack of anger will happen. Shantideva, you think that to be at war you are a warrior. You want to be a warrior? Just take up the battle, the enemy who is always here ? that will make you the real warrior, against the anger. 

Till now, we have talk about a series of steps of logics, when people throw unreasonable temper to us, it is also unreasonable to throw back to the person.

When someone being unreasonable, and we start to feel upset, we can say, hey, I could get angry with the cold, and cold didn’t decide to hurt me, a bunch of things happen randomly. Well the person who get angry at me, there is a series of things make it happen to him. So getting angry with this person, is like getting angry with the stick. SO main thing is knowing the person is not in control. So at this moment, think about the org. Chart, it is the anger. This is one method, use logics.

So we could get angry not only to persons but also situation. So yoga biz is not easy to maintain. I have to sell our yoga studio. So I am angry with this pandemic situation. It is very sad to lose this yoga studio, who should I blame? Pandemic just happens. But I have anger inside. SO do I blame someone? SO lets look at things happen naturally around us.

Like I sat on cactus when I was 4. SO do I kick the cactus? It only makes it worse. How do we deal with this situation. Let’s talk about rainstorm. For my wedding 5 years ago, we almost cancelled my wedding due to rainstorm. I was so mad. This thing has no cause. Master Shantideva comes inside, oh, really rainstorm has no cause? A warm air current from south, A cold air current come from north meeting each other and cause it, as a reason. Oh, there is a cause then. It is the temperature of the wind. So does the wind have a cause? I guess the previous wind, the sun, the wind create this. Will that wind have a cause? Shantideva is taking us all back to the beginning. That will bring us the beginning of the universe. So, is there a cause? Yes, of course, there is a cause, the Big Bang.

SO the Big Bang has created the whole universe, there is a cause??? I guess no. The thing that created that you experience means it came from nothing! Ehhh, you feel dumb strike by Shantideva answer. So we are DCI people. We heard about pen story. Pen comes from a seed of our mind. How a seeds get into our mind? A seeds comes from something we did in the past. The cause is from the past. If pen is something helps to communicate it means you have helped others to communicate too. So we all know when we talk about pen, we don’t mean just pen. We talk about your husband or wife, your angry boss, the rain storm, wonderful ice cream in your life, all the beautiful and unpleasant things that you experience or you are going to experience.

When we talk about the big bang, if you think this created what you experience, then this big bang is related to you too. This Big Bang has its cause too. Pen story, coming from us, the seeds of my mind!! Yes, if you understand at this point, rainstorm, biz to shut down, (waving the hand, holding the pen, it comes from us). 

Shantideva says, if you cant do anything, why worry, why upset? Just relax. But if there is something you can do about it. Then do it (pen comes from us), just do it. Pleasant or unpleasant experience. This is the core of DCI, if you can do something just do it. That is our 4 steps. Just like we re-find a method to do things, we are lucky to know it. If all come from pen, the storm, the closing down biz, it comes from me, it means I can do something! This is cool! We don’t have to get upset. We know what to do. We can do it. There is another logical method to take care of your tendency to get angry.

1st part, at the moment, I cant do anything, this seed has opened up, Why upset? But in the future if I can do something, I just go it Why get upset? There is no reason at all/ We use logics to help us to apply to fight against the tendency to get angry. We learn that org. chart, the stick that not to get angry. Anger comes from the misunderstanding. We learn that even the nature, the storm come from us, why should I get upset. Beauty of the nature, it seems comes from itself but it comes from our seeds so we can do something about it so we don’t have to be get upset. We can apply this. Practice it. Study it. Everyday do meditation. Debate this idea in your own mind, or with your friends. See if you can take up these methods from Shantideva apply into your life. I hope you can, it is very powerful tools. If it is very challenging. If you fail no need to give. It doesn’t mean that after you hear these logical method, you wont get angry again, This fight is long.

If you heard about the 4 steps and 2 husbands in the kitchen, you will come out with victories. SO be patient, keep practicing, if you do upset again just tell yourself you are practicing on the way. Hold on the anger for 5 sex, it is amazing. This you planted a good seed then in future Hold on another 10sec next time . And you become stronger to win over the anger.

Do your meditation practice everyday, debate this idea with your friend or your own mind. See if you can take this valuable tool from Master Shantideva and use in your own life. Don’t get discourage if it is hard. Anger is very difficult. If we are human, we are going to struggle with it. And just because you heard this logical argument, it won’t stop you from getting angry. The battle is long. If you heard about the 4 steps and 2 husbands in the kitchen, you are going to come out victorious. So, be patience and keep practicing. If you get upset, tell yourself it is okay, you are working on it. And if you can hold the anger for 5 seconds, it is amazing. And that plant powerful seed to hold off 10 seconds next time. And you will get more and more powerful till you completely master it!

Teacher Dawn Essence Summary

The people that we don’t like will leave the world and disappear but our anger will be around us , in the kitchen, office, room our pillow. We need to conquer this anger, it is for a lifetime. We are very lucky to have this general , Master Shantideva to have different tools for us to conquer the war. So, what is special about this lifetool ?

If you are a very challenging person, this is a very good lifetool. We must understand that anger is not necessary.

Many things will make us angry. For example when someone makes us angry, Master Shantideva and Prof. Nick also said, should we be angry of them ? No. As no one will wake up in the morning to decide to get angry of anyone but some incident that cause that person to get angry. We must find out who is the boss behind. It is actually the anger that control that person that cause that person to vent their anger at us.

Like a drunk person that we meet and not in clear mind and talked nonsense to us. He is actually not sober and control by his anger. So, we shouldn’t be angry of the that person. So, we should we be angry of ? We should be angry of the anger itself. Like the current pandemic. Are you affected by it ? The pandemic affected our convenience, should we be angry of the pandemic? Actually, no. Some people benefitted from the pandemic. Or we should be angry of the people whom is not responsible and spread the virus ? Well, no since we have been doing this all the time. Or should we be angry of the people to act the wild animals that cause the virus ? Or should we blame the big bang ? So, what causes the big bang ?

If we don’t have the cause the big bang, nothing will cause us to see the virus as nothing cause this. Master Shantdeva reminded us, the pen. The pen represent our life, anger, pandemic, Represent our world now. In the past we planted the seed that cause us to see the world now. Whatever that is happening now including the virus, bombing. So, everything coming from me. This is so wise. If it is coming from me, I can change the future then.  Every time I scold people, I am scolding myself. When we trace to the end, everything is coming from me! That including terrorist!

We can see that everything is coming from us. It is not easy thought we understand this.  When our seeds opened, we can’t control ourselves. So, what can we do? We can do meditation. We have think logically. We must encourage everyone to analyze them step by step to see the reality to help us when things happen, we will be able to know the big boss behind for us to deal with the problem. We will not see the other party to be controlled by anger.

We understand how to change our seed to change our world !

Lifetool 8: The Lady On The Car: What did you expect from people? （T. Connie） 

This lifetool is very easy to understand but hard to practice as after many years of practice T. Connie still not master it yet. Just yesterday , she has been reminded of that fact. What is the fertile soil of anger ? If you want to the make sure the right condition to grow your anger. You should make sure you live what T. John recommended – the hungry, anxious, tired life style. This lifetool is the exact opposite. In the lifetool, we will provide the toxic environment for anger. It is 100% toxic to anger.  T.Connie still has not manage to master anger. A lot of people is just like her trying to master the anger. When she and her friends got upset when someone insulted them even though what they said might be true.

Years ago, there are meditators that has figure it out. There are 8 thoughts that upset human. We feel uncomfortable when someone said something bad about us or criticized about us behind our back to others. If we don’t hear other praises from others, we don’t feel good.  The painful habit of responding to hurt. To get this lifetool right, we must practice saturating our mind in it. We must kill the root  of the misunderstanding with a powerful weapon – deep compassion. It is call Mum- Dad compassion. Nor’s baby was 3 months premature, and body function is not fully develop.

Babies need to endure 2 years to have their teeth fully grown. So, during those time, babies get agitated due to the condition. Will the parents complain to others. Parents can feel the pain of the babies, they can’t feel their own pain when they are immense in the pain of their babies. Of course, babies won’t know that they are planting “pain seeds” by giving pains to their parents.

Most of the human beings in the planet doesn’t understand the pen. They won’t know they are planting bad seeds for their future. Story from T. ConnieI try to master my anger for people who said bad things about me, I still fail sometimes. This is a story of a woman whom has a fantastic vision. She has an Education company with 150-200 employees. They work together for about 5 years. They are going to have a breakthrough when the owner has a hostile from a business partner. Surprising the former owner stay on to help with the project. Few years went by and the company encounter major disaster. It is impossible for the company to recover. The former owner already move on by this time. She was no longer involve. But still, journalist from magazine, radio, tv show, took up the stories and blame the former owner for the whole mess.

I the beginning I also shared that I can’t This woman was victimized by the media. A year or two went by but I never heard her make any negative comment. I never heard her said anything bad toward the attack from the journalist. I wonder how did she do it ? How she handle all the lies and slander. One day, I heard her speech. “How can I blame them (reporters). How can I get upset about them? They are just doing their job. They have life and families to support. They don’t know any better. They don’t understand the pen they are creating for themselves. They have no idea of the pen and 4 steps. They don’t know the pain they are creating for themselves. So, you shouldn’t blame them”.

I sat there and was in awe.  What she said was the basic pain of human being. She has overcome the pain of hearing the bad thing about her and behind her back. For me, this skill is amazing. I will never forget the power of her mind. The power that comes from saturating your mind with kind and love, She has an imaginary power that not many people have. In meditation , you build your mental power to know allow you to lose focus. Your power will not be lost. So, what I witness was a powerful person, in total peace, moving her company ahead in a totally different and unexpected way.

Now, you know the potential result of applying this lifetool. But to be able to do this, you must saturate your mind in this situation.

Let’s see how we can saturate our mind to have the feeling of deep compassion for others. I see a beautiful woman wearing a white clothes appears to be at rest on an odd surface. Perhaps she is sleeping. Maybe the image represent a dream stage. All of my ideas are completely wrong. If I stopped there any move on to the next thing to look at or think about. Those observation is the one that will stop me from mastering this lifetool. I must learn to look deeper. I must use the same method as Seiji and Nor as the way they look at their kid.  This is actually a picture of a woman killed herself , jumping from a building , landing on a car. She couldn’t stand the pain of her life, that is why she ended it. When we can understand the pain of others, then we can understand the exquisite pain of being a human. Outside of the little realm of me calling , “me and mine”, when we can share the pain of others, the way that say ‘ I understand. We all get things the wrong way. We all plant seeds to feels pain.”

It is unbearable when we get into the shoes of those the in pain. We all share the same board as human. We can’t stop it as it is the ultimate  diseases.  The point of this lifetool is to saturate our mind. Have the same compassion for others like how parents have the compassion for their kids. Then, we will feel the pain of others more than we feel our own that is the point. Most of us who listen to this talk, understand The Pen and the 4 steps. So, we know how we create the pen we experienced. But 99.9% of people in this room do not.

Yesterday, I roll my eye balls when I heard someone complain. It is like a slap on my face. Telling to myself ” How can I do that ? That person might be in so much pain. If we are in their shoes, we should understand and should roll my eyeballs”.  I stopped and made a list of their sufferings. I replaced that superficial image of that complainer with an image of the unbearable pain, like the image of the woman on the top of the car. If you can’t come out with the list, whenever you feel attack by others, there is a great list in the manual for all the way humans hurt themselves. We killed ourselves by over eating, diabetes, etc.  We are killing ourselves by doing things that we enjoy. There are 300,000 dies of diabetes & heart disease., 480,000 dies of smoking, 88,000 drank to death in America.

Let’s come back to the complain that we heard. If someone were to ask me ” Where does the whistle start and stop ?” Which part of the complain the you heard ? I can’t find it and I was ashamed. When I caught in doing something that make me off-balance, I don’t stop to analyze meaning in some scribble. I just get caught in again and again.  When this thing happened again, what is my thinking.  I need to ask, what is that meaning come from ? Where did the complain come from? Did you see their lips move ? No. But I heard the sound from distance. So, we have sound that travel across the room, vibration vibrating and the vibration hit my eardrum, so, where is the meaning in the vibration ? I should be rolling eyeball at myself. It is impossible to find any meaning in those sound – it is exactly like the Pen. I know where the meanings is coming from – it is from me.

I put the complain in the compartment in my mind. I just have to assess I am I going to do it. I can think about the past week and I can’t find quite a few. Some even is voice complain. I need to open my mind to analyze. So, in this lifetool , don’t be afraid to build deep compassion and feeling for others and ourselves, especially those around us. It makes us feels more humble. Ultimately, it is “ME” that will be beneficiary of that work. Every time when we practice empathy, we benefit from it. One of the benefit is we will not think negatively. We will have more energy and focus. More time to be creative and complete the task that we want to complete.

I need to open my mind to analyze. So, in this lifetool , don’t be afraid to build deep compassion and feeling for others and ourselves, especially those around us. It makes us feels more humble. Ultimately, it is “ME” that will be beneficiary of that work. Every time when we practice empathy, we benefit from it. One of the benefit is we will not think negatively. We will have more energy and focus. More time to be creative and complete the task that we want to complete.

So, in this lifetool, it is about building the feeling. It is the kind of feeling on how parents feel about their children which will take care of the needs of their children before their own. They will not be able to stand the pain they see in their children. Master Shantideva wrote the books that is profoundly ethical. The author went through malicious attack by the university during his time. Even gave him a demeanor nickname. The author overcome all the pain given by others. The author didn’t defense himself of the abuse or hurt anyone whom hurt him. He responded with love, kindness and wisdom. He set an impressive example to us

Most of the human beings in the planet doesn’t understand the pen. They won’t know they are planting bad seeds for their future. Story from T. Connie I try to master my anger for people who said bad things about me, I still fail sometimes. This is a story of a woman whom has a fantastic vision. She has an Education company with 150-200 employees. They work together for about 5 years. They are going to have a breakthrough when the owner has a hostile takeover from a business partner. Surprisingly the former owner stay on to help with the project. Few years went by and the company encounter major disaster. It is impossible for the company to recover. The former owner already move on by this time. She was no longer involve. But still, journalist from magazine, radio, tv show, cook up the stories and blame the former owner for the whole mess.

Lifetool #9 Unrighteous Anger

I am supposed to talk about righteous anger. It means the anger that is correct. I want to tell you a difficult story. I lived with my teacher 25 years. He is one of the Geshe in history. I was very lucky to live with him 25 years since very young. Later I called him my father. In Asian Ancient tradition, we have to respect our teacher. We are supposed to do anything the teacher asks you to do. To me it is very difficult. In America, we are trained to be independent. In Asia this tradition, I learn I have to follow the teacher whatever he asks. Then I really do it. Like I was his cook, and dish washer too. I really respect my teacher. Then I have my own students. Then I started to grow many organizations. One of them id retreat center, I called it Diamond Mountain retreat Centre. And with my students, we built it together. The study there is very strict. We cover 20 thousands of the ancient teaching. Then I did a 3 year retreat with the other 5.

Then I train my students how to do 3 years retreat. I worked hard and trained then in 14 years without charge, They actually learn 30 thousands pages of ancient wisdom. Then 35 students, they did 3 years retreat on their own. I didnt join them as I was teaching over the world. Every 6 months, I would go there to teach them 3 days. I have to take care 1 and half million of food for them. They are 2 of them, a couple. They were fighting. The wife actually stabbed the husband. They I had to ask them to leave the retreat. TO live with their parents and resolve this. So they left with the given air ticket. However, they came back to do their own retreat. They ran out of water, and the husband died without water. Then the wife came to us so we helped them. Then a lot of the media came to our retreat centre. Then national news started to talk attack Geshe Michael. At that time I felt painful and my students too. You trained us so long without any charge. We support you. We will write letters to everybody

You are a teacher, you are our personal teacher we love you. We want to fight for you. Then We just talked about 2 husband in the kitchen.   husband yelled at her. You are so stupid. Then we say one is the original dependence husband. It means cause and effect husband. The cause is she yelled at the kids last week. She put the seeds in her mind. Next week the seeds open the husband yelled at her. The seeds create this yelling husband.

I should close my eyes, think of black.

The first lesson I learn about emptiness was in Princeton U. MY professional was a Japanese. So When I learned, I thought I should think of black. After A number of years to learn from good teacher. Then I finally understand emptiness. The second husband is the emptiness husband

Walked in and got yelled. I didn’t do anything, he yelled at me!!. Listen, There is nonexistence of this second husband. When she yelled at the kid. When we are yelled at, then we forget everyone.. Then we have a strong feeling, why he blame me when I didn’t do anything. I didn’t do anything is not there. The upset wife about the husband is not there at all. There is only one husband, the one yelling at him due to she yelled at the kids. She is mad at the husband, she is mad at the second husband, he is not there. This is the real emptiness. The husband she is angry at. He is not there in the kitchen at all.

In our whole life when we get upset, it means we forget it comes from us. So actually there is no such person at all. Shantideva teaches us a lot. He lived in the Tang dynasty, he has a very beautiful poem. Is your teacher a great person? Yes Why is your teacher so great? My teacher understand emptiness, 4 steps, planting seeds If you teacher understand seed, understand 4 steps, they don’t need you to protect themselves. They can use the seed system to protect themselves 

Why aren’t you talking about the retreat?

So who you are fighting for? I am fighting with the 2nd husband for you!! Ah! You are not listening to my teaching!! The 2nd husband does not exist!!! I thought you 14 years, and you now want to fight with the 2nd husband? You want to get the stick to fight this second husband? He doesn’t exist!!!

This incidence at the retreat hurt me a lot. A lot of people criticize me. They was one platform they just everyday criticized me . I have to find a way how to help myself. Should I find something that like he does not pay tax or what to attack back. Then I think about it, Just have to fix my seeds. I didn’t attack back. I told my students no one to write to the media. So we all work on our own seeds. Of course we are not perfect, we get upset. But I learned, I am supposed to teach everyone seed system, And my whole life I am teaching seed system, Sometime I eat, go toilet, do my yoga, Then beside that I am teaching seed system. If I attack the 2nd husband, 1st of all the person who attack me, not hurt them at all. Only I can encourage them to plant bad seeds, they will hurt themselves. Even if I want to hurt those hurt me, I cant. Because I come from their seeds. If their criticizing me is a good thing, they are planting good seeds.

I don’t know about other countries. In American culture, If someone hurt you, you would keep silence. But if someone hurt your family, father or mother, wife or husband, or kids, You will fight. 1st of all this person u fight does not exist at all. And you are attacking the seed system too!! 

You went to this 12 levels, every minute you learn is to share this seed system. Why we say this 34 years  16millions pages of typing in , spend millions of dollars to put it online for free. Why we want to share this seed system. If you attack those who hurt your family, country. If you get angry about these people who hurt your teacher, you are attacking this seed system!! That is the biggest bad seed in the world.

Shantideva says that If I am a real teacher, 4 steps master, I can protect myself. I am the only person who can protect myself. 

Buddha is a prince in his life. They wont say every wealthy person is a prince. What is a wealthy person in ancient India? Who has more than 3 cows is a wealthy person. He is only a wealthy person in a village. When h e became buddha, his village was attacked. All the villagers went to Buddha’s house. Terrorist came to the house. They took out their word, killed one by one. Oh, no even Buddha cant protect me. NO, but your seeds can protect yourself. Even if you want to protect your teacher, your family, your country. You can it you should do. But how to protect our family, our teacher our country? You have to change your seeds yourself. This seed create the person who hurt your teacher, your family, attack your country. You should attack this bad seed. Listen this pen comes from your seeds.

 There is only one This pen.

Someone attack your family, your friend, there is only one, the seed from you. Geshela, u always talk about 2nd husband. Ya, the second husband is empty. When you protect your family in the wrong way, you are fighting with the 2nd husband doesn’t exist at all, That is why some country lose the war, as there is no such enemy there at all. Whenever you want to protect the family, then you are hurting your seed system. So you mean if someone wants to rape your wife, you don’t do anything? No, I will do anything to protect her. But I will use seeds.. But the seeds need 1 week time…. And it is now, the person is going to rape my wife!!

I have a similar story, My teacher’s nephew. He is a great teacher. We lived together many years. Together with him we got in the bus, there were no seats to sit on. Then I heard a lady scream. Then the bus door open, and a guy ran down and ran away. So we looked at each other, So it is her seed we cant do anything. SO how to change this seed? Look at him. And he just said shut up, together he wore the monk robe and I with the suit running after the robber. We chased him over 1 mile. Finally he threw down the handbag. So We returned the handbag to her.

That evening, I told my senior teacher, I didn’t know what to do. Should I fight this robber or… I was quite confused. Teacher said you did the right thing. You chased the robber. You tried to protect the lady. A good seed. You did it without hurting anybody. Thar’s correct, a good way. Then he asked me? How do you feel today, tonight? You protect this lady got back her handbag. I said I feel like Spiderman.

So you feel like a hero. Then my senior teacher laughed and criticized me. You are hero but a stupid hero. You feel happy and proud now. You are the New York Spiderman protect the lady. Yes, I did I did. You are stupid, my senior teacher said, it is her seed that got back her handbag. You are stupid, the spiderman is the lady who got back the bag. You 2 are hurting the seed system. It is a bad seed. Of course we must try help others. This is bodhisattva intention. But not with anger, if you are angry with this robber, then you are not planting good seeds, you are planting bad seeds. If you try to hurt the robber, you are hurting the seed system.

Now we are confused??? So am I supposed to help others? Do I use force to help others? When you get angry when you protect other people, you are hurting thousands of people, you are destroying your own good seeds. So do you want me to protect other people? Yes. But one hundred percent, no anger. One hundred percent, no hatred. Wah, this is difficult.

SO I don’t get angry when someone hurt my wife? If you take action with anger, hatred, you are destroying much more seeds than you are planting the good seeds. You are creating more pain for others. When we have anger to attack, even if you want to protect your beloved, actually we are attacking the buddha. The truth of the seeds system, it is the real body of the buddha. This is unbelievable. If we break the seed system hating others, if we stab the robber, yes we are stabbing a person, we are stabbing the seed system, and this is the body of the buddha

Jenny Essence Summary

If someone is hurting our loved one or country, should we be angry ? Is the righteous anger correct ? What would your answer ? No. 

There is nothing as righteous seeds. Geshe Michael told us 3 very important stories. The person who is attacking our country or loved one does not exist. Even it is towards your teacher it is not correct.  There is another story about the wife whom stabbed her husband twice during the Diamond Mountain retreat. They were sent away but came back secretly and the husband died during their personal retreat. Newspapers and reporters criticized Geshe Michael and the students were upset and wanted to protect Geshe Michael by writing to the newspapers and online. By Geshe Michael told them not to do so. There is nothing as righteous anger, you should protect your teacher using seeds.

If someone trying to hurt you loved one even your teacher, that one someone doesn’t exist. You are fighting someone that doesn’t exist and you are just destroying the seed system. 

You should help or protect people you loved one without anger and hatred.

Another story about the lady with the purse which he helped to get the purse back to the lady. When he went back to the monastery, he discussed with his senior teacher about his action whether it is correct. The action of him going after the robber is correct. When he retrieved the purse, he didn’t hurt the robber, so, that is correct too. It is very important, not hurting the robber. The next question that I want to ask ,” During the process, if he hurt the robber, what is he hurting?”. The answer is ” the seeds system”.

The next key thing is , when Geshe Michael bring back the purse and gave back to the lady. He felt he is a hero protecting the lady, whose seed is that ?”

“It is the lady’s seed”.

Story from T. Jenny Wang In my life I used to be a good friend with someone. She doesn’t work with me anymore and we have a common friend. Our common friend came to me to tell me how the other friend said a lot of bad things about me, criticizing me. If I heard someone is criticizing me, I should not criticize others in order for me to see no one is critizing me in the future.  I should not criticize others but should praise others around me.  My friend who is trying to protect me by telling me has planted bad seed around her  (judgment seed). She has hurt a lot of people during the process. This action doesn’t help anyone. 

The important message is there is no righteous anger. Only Seeds can help us.

Lifetool #10 – Our Mother with a Knife (by Nor)

Let’s review the tools that we have learned. In previous tools, we learned why we hate anger. How anger can affect our seeds. We learn how to plant seeds to stop anger. There are stages of anger. We learn how to catch ourselves when get off balance. So that we wont let anger fill up our heart. We learn about how to be a peacock to take poison. We also expand our mind to anger helper.

It is a new tool we added in our toolkit to make our anger impossible. What is this lifetool about ? We will answer a question with this life tool. Is there a situation where anger and violent can plant good seed? Master Shantideva told us it is not right to get angry. Let’s find out the answer in this life tool.  Let’s do a review of what we have learnt in Level 10. In previous life tools we learnt why we hate anger. How anger affect our seeds. We learnt how to plant seed to stop anger. We review stages of anger, and how to catch ourselves if we got off-balance so we don’t let anger fill up in our heart. We learnt together how we eat poison and became a warrior. We expanded our mind with anger helpers. In the next hour, I want to give you a tool to help you when someone is being angry and violent towards you or to people you loved.

This life tool have 4 parts.1) To pretend to be angry can help you to protect others.2) How to make sure that you have the seeds to protect others?3) What is the best way to react towards angry or violent people in our life?4) What to do if someone harm someone you love?

The goodness of make-believe anger. In L8, we learnt about 4 types of anger management. There are 4 modes of being a good leader.

1)Generous Manager – like to gather and celebrate milestones in works.

2)Peaceful manager -never get angry, flexible and understanding

3) Powerful Manager

4) Fear Manager. The manager who is always serious and angry at us but not in his heart. He shows angry face just to make us do our tasks.

I used to have manager, Nicolai, will scare me when I was reaching deadline. But deep down, I know he is not really angry. Just like when you have a child crossing the street together. Your child let go of your hands and ran across the street. Because you want to protect your child, you pretended to be angry can help for the moment. This is not an easy task. We don’t want to get in the trap of getting really angry.  How to pretend to be angry ? Let me share the secret. 1) Frown2)Make a serious face3) change your voice and say what you want to say for the sake of protection.

4) Make sure stay with the heart of compassion.

We can easily forget and get angry for real during the process. That is what we want to learn in this lifetool.

There was once when I was in the train., I saw a man trying to use a knife to cut into a lady’s purse. He saw me and signaled me to be silent. I screamed with the help of others to come to help. There is a happy ending with security guard came to help. The metro stopped due to the incident. Later part, the policeman came to thank me but said I was crazy. He said I should think of other method as the man was armed. The main thing of the story is, since we are talking about protection, in DCIG, we believe we should jump to help. But, the key here is not to help or jump into help situation with anger, agitated heart or violent. Be mindful to do that we result. Sometimes we don’t get the result we wants when we don’t have the seeds or our stapler is not loaded. Don’t feel bad if that happened. We just need to load our stapler. Keep in mind that the final result is also coming from the seed of the person whom we want to protect. Maybe on that day, that person doesn’t have protection seed.

We just have to accept the failure. The deeper idea, which I believe all of us have to hear about. Sometimes we have the illusion that violence works. We go into the illusions that we start violence actions. According to 2nd seed of law of seed, when we plant watermelon seed, we will get watermelon, If we plant violent, we will get violent. So, logically, when we use violent, we will not protect our loved one, family or country. Does it mean if our country is in the war, do I not do anything ? To me this is very important question to me as I came from a country that was in the war. I met DCI when I have this question in my mind. I understood from the seeds system, violent will not be able to bring long term peaceful and protection in life. It is not easy. We are challenging our mind, our usual habit. Let’s see how things will change. When anger and violent appear in our life, remember this illusion and give it a try.

For me, what I did back then was simply not taking part in any conflict or supporting any part of the army.  I hope none of you have to go through this but we need to be mindful and try to remember the illusion. It is very hard but let me share what I did and maybe can inspire you in your daily life. 2 weeks ago, I have an infection in my toe, small but very painful. I need to go and see a doctor my I need a referral letter from our private care doctor. In the last 2 weeks I have been calling the doctor’s office to get the referral letter. I still don’t have it yet. Today, I woke up and I think maybe I will shout angrily on the phone. Maybe by using this violent, they will give me the letter before end of my class. But , then I remember I am teaching everyone about this illusion. Using violent will not help me to get my letter but burning my seeds. I am grateful I remembered the illusion and  I got my letter two hours ago.

How to react when someone came to us with violent or anger ? Imagine you are going to visit your mother, sweet old lady whom has been sick lately. She has been taking meditation everyday. For example my father forget and mixed up his pills. Simply because of aging, most of our parents tend to forget things like their medicine, or whether they eat or some information. Like my father whom tells me the same stories that he has told me before. At certain age, it is not safe for them to use certain tools. Picture this scenarios, you are going to visit your mum and she going through the situation that we have mentioned. And now, she was holding a knife in her hands doing some task. She feels that there is some noise. She forgot you will be visiting her and thought someone is trying to break into her house. She hold the knife with the thinking that someone is trying to hurt her. What would you do when you see your mum react like that ? Will you response with violent ?

If it is my father, I will gently calm him down and hug him and tell him it is me. And probably we will break down and cry.  If you can think everyone who is violent in our life is just like our mum holding the knife. She is just controlled by her seeds her life, we will not response with violent. The person who is angry of us, he is under the influence by the seeds in his mind. The best way is take away the knife with our love and compassion in our heart.

Sometimes when I am very tired and sleepy, I feel like I am losing my joy. I can feel that my anger is filling up, I reminded myself I don’t want to be the mother who is holding the knife.  The ancient book and Master Shantideva advised us to do this by 2500 years ago, maybe it is worth a try. So, for the next few days,  let’s use this tool when we meet anyone who is angry or violent towards us. This will protect our seeds.

When someone trying to hurt our loved one, the best thing we can do is help them to plant their protection seeds. Like me, I will help my son to plant seeds for safety and protecting life by feeding birds in the morning.  It is a good stretch in our mind to trust our loved one’s seeds. They may have enough protection seeds and don’t need us. Let’s try to think that way. When I was holding my son, I am very protective. Even he is very young, I will still share this wisdom with him, by just listening to the seeds, will help to plant seed.

We learnt that by pretending to be angry and help to protect our love one with one condition, keep our anger in balance and not get into real anger. We learnt  to load our staple with protecting seed in order to have protection for ourselves and loved one.  Violence is just an illusion as violence will only produce more violence.  From the story of mother holding a knife, we learnt how to response to the person who is hurting us. They are just being controlled by their seed. The best way to response is to take away the knife with compassion and understanding.

We learnt how to response to those who is trying to hurt people we loved.

If there is any situation when anger or violence can plant good seeds, when is the right time to get angry, I hope this information is easy and joyful to you to grasp. As we said in DCI, this is a practical systems. It doesn’t work just by listening. So, I prepared for you for a cause of actions, practical steps to inject all these in your life. 

1) In the coming weeks, keep an eye in your smoke alarm. Detect the moment when you are losing your joy and start to get off-balance, especially related to anger or protecting the one you loved.

2) Remember the last time someone is being violent or angry towards you, recalled how you response to that. Use the life tool of the Mother holding the knife to rewrite the whole scenarios.

Sunny Essence Summary

4 parts:

1. We have to pretend to be angry to help others. In what situation we pretend angry? E.g. holding the hands of the child, who try to dash across the road. At this moment we say children stop you cant run. We have to have a very angry face. Our intention is to protect our children. At this moment we are acting, we are not smiling , but stern. So check, is this anger no not anger, we have to have peace in our heart. 

2. How to ensure that we have enough seeds to protect others and protect our own. Why are we sharing this DC I system to others? You want them to be happy and achieve their goal too. One could be they go and attend this workshop, study group and so forth. The other one is they are not attending the course, study group. Then you start to say why you are not attending. They don’t listen, we become off balance. We get angry we harm our good seeds in the bank, How to protect ourselves and others? We get ready our bullets in the stapler. If you want to protect ourselves and others, every morning

Every morning we have to make this intention this person who make you angry does not exist. So in this way, I will not react, I m protecting my good seeds, I wont burn my good seeds, I am protecting others’ seeds too. Wah, Sunny you seldom lose your temper now. So this is the real way to protect it.  

3. Face the person who make you angry, this person start to have violence. This person like this, I will react, It means anger with anger, violence with violence. This becomes a war. This will affect the world, the neighboring country. We must remember seed law. We using anger to react with anger, we have more anger, same as violence. We should stop all these anger, to react with those who have anger and violence in our surrounding.

4. We have to stop from our side. P. Noor also say the most important method. She visited her mum late, and her mum thought she was the thief. You were shocked why your mum wanted to attack you. You know she is not in her clear conscious seeing the sleeping pills on the floor. So we find all way to remove the knife from her hand. We may get hurt in the process. We love our mum we know she is in unclear conscious. Every time, when we see beloved one is using violence, we use LT10, so we treat them like our mum, so we can use this technique. This is their seeds ripen. 1 remember this lifetool. 2nd this person her seed ripens next we have to stop this violence. SO to let them see how to stop the violence. 3rd one if someone want to hurt your wife, your child? If we want our loved ones to be protected, it is main thing to show to plant protect seeds. If the ant papa brings the food to the ant baby. SO you don’t want to see the ant baby cant see the ant papa right? So they wont kill the ants.

If you kill the ant baby, then the ant papa will not have food, right. To reverse the story.

5. We have to detect our alarm, if we are happy. Recall in the past, did you have violence. Recall and rewrite the story. So next time you know how to react.

Lifetool #11 – Take the Loss, Offer the Gain (Round Table: GMR, Anton, Mr. Binn,

GMR Specialty- GMR has an old teacher from inner Mongolia living in a small, dirty room in a monastery New Jersey. GMR helped to fix his room slowly. “sit down sit down Mike!” the old teacher instructed him “ You really have to fix your anger” GMR thought otherwise and felt offended. “ you got angry at other students of other teacher. The student’s name is Ark ”GMR denied. “ You are super angry with him everyday” GMR said he’s very patient with him. “No..no no.. You are JEALOUS of him” Ark can read the ancient scriptures and Sanskrit very well. He later went on to study PhD. even the professor requested for him to teach him Sanskrit 1) the teacher loved him more than GMR- always having meals tog and laughing. Teacher will speak another language with Ark. But forced GMR to speak English. 

GMR questioned the teacher why?

The teacher explained he wanted to learn English and GMR is his English teacher.

GMR questioned why he was not invited for breakfast. The teacher invited him along.

The next day, GMR went for breakfast tog. Again, the teacher requested Ark spoke in western Chinese language and GMR in English and yes, GMR admitted he’s jealous. Feel the jealousy. Think of the person who makes you angry. GMR thought of his little brother.  Wat’s the difference between the feelings of angry and jealousy? GMR realized it’s the same. Therefore, it is jealousy is anger and will burn the good seeds. Jealousy is another form of Anger.  GMR promised the old teacher he will stop his jealousy.

“ Big Mistake! Don’t stop your jealousy of Ark” The old teacher told GMR.

why? Coz the teacher told GMR, because of his strong jealousy, it drove GMR to study hard for the ancient wisdom. Stop his jealousy only after he attained Geshe.

By Anton: Using jealousy as a driving good force in your lives Story: About 10years ago In university. During last year I was a houseman (internship)first 6years studying and last year will be practical learning through observation. Good way to build practical skills. It is a way to protect the patients. What happened in practice is different. The amount of work is hard to imagine. You are like a free labor- clearing paper work, cleaning up. as a medical student, I think: Studying all these years & thinking of helping all these patients but in the end, I’m cleaning the toilet. We are just free labor, low intelligence work Naturally, I grew resentment, frustration, anger, jealousy against my in charge. 6hrs of my time I’ve all these feelings. I was thinking I could have done a lot of other interesting stuff but instead she’s my source of time wasters & unhappiness.

Around this time,  I read GMR book and heard the pen story.

Natural consequences of reading and understanding the pen: you understand there is no one out there for the source of your pain.  However in my reality, there’s this person who was causing me unhappiness. It made me ponder why did I meet such a supervisor? I have to admit this is not a coincidence. I must have planted such seeds to meet her.  Then I started to think: if it comes from me how can I have time to do meaningful and interesting work? What do I have to do? Find someone who also wants to have time to do meaningful and interesting work.

So I realized planted my supervisor, she gave me jobs to do so she could have free time to do things she liked. She’s a perfect Karmic partner. (KP)

I decided to change my image of her in my mind. From a monster time taker to a person who doesn’t have time & support to do her work. No actions changed; BUT MY INTENTION CHANGED DRAMATICALLYI dedicate all the paper work and cleaning work to her while I was at it.

EVERYDAY for several months, I was doing seeds planting.

Instead of being angry at her, I was happy I could serve her.

It wasn’t an easy feat, it’s an internal fight.

However, I do it everyday.

NEW SEEDS= NEW RESULTS.one day she called to inform me I’ve potential. Told me to spend time with the patients, starting with once a week visit. By right, I have to be in internship for 2years. But I only need to do 6 months. Most importantly, I do not have any more boring jobs.

I m happy with my work. IT is because I changed my attitude with the person!

Instead of seeing her as an obstacle and source of pain, I choose to see her as my fertile soil to plant my seeds.

It’s a good investment.

Story by T Binh Jealousy is another kind of anger. and it can destroy your good seeds. When we first learn DCI, we learn a secret weapon: 4stepslast step of 4steps: COFFEE MEDITATION we recall happily about the good deeds we have done. Rejoice will get us 10% . But Jealousy is the opposite of all these. I admit i ve a lot of jealousy within me. I’m a DCI teacher in Vietnam. When students praised other teachers, I felt jealous. I didn’t know jealousy kill my good seeds. I kept it within me for a long time.

And the feeling of jealousy prevents us from feeling happy when others are doing good deeds.

Jealousy is a silent killer.

so, I turn the jealousy into a COFFEE MEDITATION.

Student: “I did 4 steps for a long time, I do everyday, plan every step. I do CM but why I don’t see the results I want?” T Binh: “ did u clear bad seeds? ”Student: “ yes, I did 4 powers!” T Binh: “how about good CM ”Student: “ YES”T Binh: “ how about anger?” Student: “not much” T Binh: “ how about jealousy” Student then admitted he had jealousy for people around him. T Binh: ” then this Is very  possible why you do not see the results. Jealousy will destroy your good seeds.”  3months later, the student told him his money started flowing in.

To protect your karmic bank account. Do not be Jealous. Do Coffee Meditation.

Sharing by T Alison (T Xiaoping)Now we know jealousy is another kind of anger and it is a silent killer , like what T Binh taught us. It hurts and destroy our good seeds. What anger wants? To see others unhappy. Eg. When our colleagues got praised by our bosses, jealousy arise. What’s happening? We are standing in the way of cosmic justice. We do not believe in cosmic justice. What is cosmic justice? A simple concept. Same as first law of karma. The GOLDEN RULE- YOU GET WHAT YOU WANTWHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND Eg. My company engaged a lawyer who has been working with us for the past 1 year. We just renewed his contract. It is impossible not to tell the lawyer I m not going to pay him right? Because he worked hard. So it’s the same with your colleague who gotten the praise. It is because of the past seeds that were planted.

If you become jealous of the colleague, then you don’t believe in cosmic justice. Means you feel that they are not worthy of it.

However, not many believe that there’s cosmic justice.

That’s the reason why people feel hopeless and depressed and anxious. Feel insecure of the world. This universe has its justice. It has existed for many millions years even before we are born.  

T Alison’s personal experience. She has been using seeds system consciously for over 10years.Particularly in the beginning, she did experiments to prove there’s cosmic justice. she will share how she used the system to fight against jealousy. She finally found the answers to her questions after learning this system. She wanted to have more wisdom and teachers. She aspires to be a great teacher. she longed for more wisdom. As Mr Binh mentioned, She’s jealous towards people who are wise. She told herself “ if the law of karma is true, then the reasons why they are wise and have great wise teachers, they definitely must have planted them” She decided to spread the wisdom as much as she could. She volunteered a lot. That’s how Pure Gold (her company) was formed. She did a lot of translation and organizing events.

Quickly the results came. Also, great teachers are around me. Like what Anton said” luckily the seeds are still running!” Every time jealousy arises now, she uses a metaphor. Just like growing a garden. I planted a seed in the garden. When the fruits ripened, where will I be?

The fruits will not appear in other people’s gardens right.

So she uses this metaphor to help her to fight jealousy.

If we can remember cosmic justice, we will be successful in all areas of our lives.

How do we have to combat jealousy? Why do we have tendency to be jealous when we know it is logical not to do so?.  Mr Binh: I feel that people are taking resources from me. So that’s why I’m jealous.   GMR reply: recently I’m doing Mixed Nuts. Learnt that There’s a special seeds that create the feelings that Anton is not me. Supposed the seed is millions of years old. It makes me feel that I’m separate from Anton. And because of this seed, I’ll be jealous of Anton.

Lifetool#12 – What Pushes My Buttons: Fertile Emotional Soil

I started from a quote from Shantideva. Anger wells up in people despite themselves. No one says I get angry now. Angry comes all the same. Starts from without anyone says I start it now. In his master work. Shantideva asks some questions. He ask where does this trigger come from? You and I we should ask ourselves where does this anger source come from? Where does this traffic jam come from? Who made this? Why me? Why my world? All the things bother me. Who made them? So today we will talk about it in a deep way. We will give you a practical way the process how to catch ourselves the things make us angry. So we learn from this Crown of Knives. It clearly define how these seeds planted before, create the condition of the anger now. Ripening at some moment in our life. We will also learn how to handle. How to avoid the negative result from this particular flavor of anger. We have these 12 tools. We call these correlation of anger. We learn these elements that lose our happiness.

The acronym called HAALTs. This originated from the alcohol. It starts for hunger, anger, anxiety, lonely, tired, sick. This will lead us to different stages of anger. So losing our happiness on 6 main fertilizer condition. SO we have to logically analyze the process. These 6 bring light to our anger condition contribute to the flair of anger, that can drop us that Shantideva describe the 4 stages of anger. These 4 stages are described in LT 3. 

So lets review it:

Stage 1, off balance. Shantideva identifies the first stage of anger as a moment we get off balance. Sometime, he call it losing our joy.  

Stage2, is getting upset. If we cannot knock out this anger when we are getting upset, it is almost like our emotion is falling out of balance. So it will proceed to upset in our heart. A point reaches almost the anger, tipping to the anger.  

Stage 3, is tipping into the anger. Only if we walk back from this, We going to get into anger. our mind afflicted. Our heart beat started to be faster, tight chest, swelling of anger starts to slip away from us. LT3, shen-shin comes from, this beautiful tool, we take a part of our mind, we actually separate ourselves from our mind, and observe this upset, tipping at anger, it holds us back, stopping from tipping into the anger, this swelling of the heart feeling.

Stage 4, resentment. This is we can’t let go the anger thought, may be an hour, a week, a month, even 20 years. We all experience family dispute, due to family members talked about some silly things/ My own family, with my sister and brother. They didn’t speak to each other for 20 years. So be careful that anger could last for a life time if the anger blows up. A beautiful quote in L12. One of the goals of a good gardener, front yard, or backyard, in our mind, it is to feed our positive attitude. And refuse the negative one. Because negative thought will drop us to the 4th stage of anger. So let’s use this tool to curb our anger. 

1st, hungry. Hangry, this you may have heard this before. It means from hungry we get into angry. This is scientifically due to our glucose level, it happens. It is a essential low blood sugar phenomenon, trigger anger. This physical level will get you upset emotionally.

When I am hungry, I put a look at her (black face), and serious look. Voice changes. My wife will ask me to get some salad or yoga then. 

Hunger link to anger and anxiety. Avoid that, else you will plant enormous seeds 

2nd, is the anger from HAALT. This is from the anger condition, not the anger itself. We have to remind ourselves to be aware when you are off balance. Especially at the point before the anger tipping out, so at this point you are at the resent mood about the things happen. Say, from a person you yelled at yesterday. You play over and over again in your mind. This is providing further soil to get upset. Resentment will trigger anger again. So it may not be the person who had triggered you to be angry, rather another person in work or family. At this point, at the back your mind, remember emptiness what you are experiencing. That sheshin moment of remembering the pen, will put a pause to the resentment in your mind

The other part helps me, to remember you’re a lot of seeds in the bank account will be burnt. 

3rd anxiety, modern days we all are stressful. We maybe already worrying significantly about your partner, like she is not happy about me, she is shopping for another one. This is a classical example. Another one is in the cutting the team in the company. Then we don’t sleep very well. It affects us physically. So it feels that something some part of your life collapse. It brings on a lot of, anxiety, not only sleep not well, you feel things our of control. People start to worry about money, strange relationship with family, friends, and even embarrassment, like shame that you are not worthy, maybe something wrong with us.

4th Loneliness. When I saw this pic, it triggered my memory. When I was small 12 years old, he announced that we had to move to another place. It triggered my anxiety and also loneliness. It is a classic example, leaving your friends in school. The neighborhood that you are so familiar with. I can still remember how difficult it was. Another example, when you live home alone. Like your wife leave home to visit her relatives. Or your husband wants to go overseas for work. Although you complain you want to have more space, there is a voice of emptiness with this empty room. Then our balance will be very susceptible to be off balance. Especially now pandemic, we have to stay home. Especially for those who is not used to be alone. 

5th Tired, It really kills our spirit if we can’t sleep. You totally have less energy to exercise, clear mind, easy to get angry. In Some cases, even social isolated due to feeling tired. If you are exhausted, avoid doing things, like making important decision, reading text that will make you angry. When we feel tired, things look dark. When we are tired, we make mistakes.

6th Sick, it doesn’t matter if it is cold or a flu, it affects our thinking. Many people have sore back, we don’t know that somebody who is irritating you, actually have this backache for years. SO when you feel you are sick, you must tune yourself to the middle way. These conventional ways if we can avoid, then we can easier to avoid fall into the 4 stages. One last suggestion, review LT1 a few more times. It is good to read all the life tools. All our negativity has a killing point. This killing point is when you attack with a sword, like the 2 husbands in the kitchen, it really has the most powerful tool that we cant imagine or to forget it. Every time I review it, I find something new about this life tool.

PART II Wheel of Sharp Knives or Crowns of Knives. Every negativity there is a cause to avoid it. I encourage you all to read these 35 conditions to read in between lines. Today we can only review a few. This can reinforce our understanding. We can find what before we had done created current unpleasant things. It is a compass for us to avoid the future anger cycle. 

Condition 2U often experience anxiety and worry. The seed planted is you upsetting others. And pretty obvious, A common sense, you experiencing anxiety, as you upset others.

What do we do? We do Tonglen meditation. We choose a person who needs the help who has anxiety. We take on destroy the mental pain in the person’s mind.

Condition 19You are sleepy. In doing meditation, or advance your understanding. you fail to support teachers or the wisdom, So you intend to improve your own life, purify yourself without fear. This a an amazing correlation 

Condition 26Natural disaster, the high temperature that the whole earth is experiencing. Like in America, the big fire in California, terrible flooding in China. The disaster that seem to follow you around. The source of this seeds planted, look at this. Failing to keep our pledges and promises. Particularly in code of conduct. the solution is always keep our promises and pledges to the best of our ability.

Condition 18You cant get into deeper understanding of study. You follow unwise lifestyle. Spend some time for inner learning. You must listen to pen story 3k times. Don’t fear any hardship on the way, Any attempts to improve our heart and life.

Condition 31You can’t control your mind, though get deep in your study. We constantly seek to be important in the world. Like current we are concerned how are the likes from my social media. So in my state of mind, I have to get out from these negativity and get the freedom from it. This is the challenge for our life. Free ourselves from the negativity mind. Shantideva, there is something you can do about it, why you feel upset? If there is nothing you can do about it, why upset? So, anger is so ridiculous!!

Lifetool #12 Essence Summary by T Sharon Fan Fertilizers for Anger 

They are a pre-emptive agents for anger.  Surface causes and deeper causes. Surface causes: Reasonings that may work or may not work for people. However do we have to learn? yes. We need to use surface causes to assess our 6 reasons for our anger.

HOLD- STOP. Reasons we throw joy out:

1. Hungry Do you often have emotions when you are hungry? when you are hungry, you are off balance When you take care of yourself, you are taking care of others well.
2. Anger Just like an avalanche, if we are unaware of our emotions, we will easily go from off balance to anger. If we are unaware, we slip into anger easily.
3. Anxiety where does anxiety come from? Often it comes from unsure. Which route should I take so I’ll be punctual? So how do deal with anxiety? Remember the emptiness (pen)

There is no 100% sure route to ensure your punctuality.

Everything depends on seeds. Do you have the seeds?

Rather than be in anxiety, why not fertilize on your seeds you have planted.

4. Loneliness Old folks usually are lonely and hard to get along. They’ve forgotten how to get along with people. When we remember how to be with others, then we can help people.
5. Tiredness Be aware of too tired you are regardless of your capabilities. Have enough rest. So that you benefit yourself and others. Do not make decisions when you are tired. During Coffee Meditation, do not engage in your problems. Think about your good deeds only. Prevent thinking of problems just before sleep.
6. Illnesses/sick When you are unhealthy, it is easier to be angry. People who are often angry usually have spine related issues. Have empathy for them. If you read the yoga sutra, you understand why we are held up by our spine. It helps in dispelling our qi (energy). Why do we feel pain in our spine? Coz our Qi is stuck, and it is with the help of yoga, we can release the stuck energy and helps us to solve the issues.

There are 35 solutions for the triggers. One of the 35 triggers: Sleepiness during meditation. Check #19

Summary of L10 from GMR 

Lifetool #2 Karmic Account Hackers 

GMR’s wife received a letter from the government to pay some taxes but it was a mistake. It could be her identity or account got stolen. He told her that he can took care of it and went online to report the identity theft. The website asked for identity card and bank account number. Then he realized that website is the hacker’s website. It is a fake website that tries to steal their account information. It is a clever way. If GMR doesn’t know Karma, it will be a great business. He works with a company to hack people’s bank account information.  As you remember, this represent our anger. It is a invisibly stole our good seeds. Many people came to DCI teachers and said they tried the 4 steps but didn’t see the result. I normally check whether did you get angry and scream at your wife or husband. They replied ” Ya..yaa.. because your 4 Steps doesn’t work”. You destroy your seeds before they open.

Anger is the opposite of coffee meditation. Your seed bank is like a battery. When you get angry, it drains the energy out of the body but you don’t feel anything. Maybe you just lost millions seeds but you don’t feel anything. So, anger is super dangerous.  I saw very super successful and wealthy guy died of heart attack. I saw normal worker having health issue due to stress. There is a lady that came to our retreat centre which has an angry husband. She looked sad whenever she was at the retreat centre. One day . she came with a big smile and looked relax. I told her she looks different and asked how was her husband. She replied that he died of heart attack.

Lifetool #3 Macho Dude/Dudes: Staying Cool

Recently I watched “Ip Man”. The movie is very relaxing because it always win. I want to be like that , be a hero. But fighting with a big guy is easy, fighting with anger is almost impossible. They are many very strong, handsome, powerful rich people, actually they are super weak. Small things happen like can’t get good spot for parking car, they get upset. Then we will say this person is weak. Even some people looks weak, no strong body or high position, but they can control their anger. Then this person is the real warrior in this world. This person is the real hero. Forget about handsome guy, kungfu lady. Forget the super rich guy and power people. The person who can control their emotional is the strong people.

A Killing Bowl: The Four Stages of Anger

We also talk about the killing blow. Half of the wushu skill is to be strong and know all the movements. The more important skill is observation. If you observe the enemy fight and know their weakness, the ancient book said we can kill someone just like that.  After you feel angry, it will be too late to fight it. In DCI level, we don’t really teaching you how to stop anger. Once the anger got strong, that is nothing we can do about it. We need to find the easy killing point. You got to catch your mind before you get angry. Even before you feel a little upset. You have to fight the anger when you first feel a little bit uncomfortable and off-balance. When your wife or husband said something to you. “It is too bad that you can’t fix the toilet or too bad GMR course didn’t include how to fix the toilet”. , the anger is not that strong yet. That is the time to kill the anger.

The best movement in “Ip Man” is not the fight. The best movement is before the fight. The anger is small, catch it and stop it.

Lifetool #4 Ridiculous Anger, Ridiculous mistaken, & the idea of starvation diet

I like to tell people about my anger. I just finished a book about Emptiness this morning. My wife aware that when I start translation work, she won’t be able to talk to me like offering me a cup of coffee. When I am very focus, it is uncomfortable for someone to talk to me. I have over 41,470++ emails. I need to focus when I am doing translation work. I always turn of my phone. In the morning, I leave my phone in the room and work in the kitchen. If you want to be successful in life, you need to be able to focus. You must avoid whatever that will disturb you. The mind has to be completely on the object not to be disrupted by other things.

If you allow yourself to get upset be by things that said by your wife like “too bad GMR didn’t teach how to fix the toilet” before you start your translation work. You will keep thinking about that issue during the translation work and you will have debating happens in your mind. The anger is disturbing your mind. Anger is not helping you in anything, it is 100% waste of time. Even it doesn’t destroy your bank account or heart attack, it is completely 100% waste of your precious life.  Veronica’s mother died 2 weeks ago. She was my friend for 25 years. I checked my phone for her message that she sent before she died. I feel so bad that I won’t get another message from her as she is gone. All of us will be gone like that. We don’t have much time. So, it is just very wrong to waste the time to think about what people said about the toilet. It takes time to be angry, and it wastes your time.

In the LT 4, it talks about the modern idea, don’t hold your anger, just let it out otherwise it will get stronger and makes your sick. That is an incredibly stupid modern idea. You need to talk to this person who told you you need to let it out. That person will tell Geshela to let it out and you will feel better.  “But should I tell ? I suppose to express my anger ? To who ? To Who ?”” To your wife. The one that is complaining about the toilet.”” That person? that is not my wife.”” what do you mean it is not your wife. I thought you just said your wife complained about the toilet”” No. No. No. I think you don’t know about the 2 wifes in the kitchen”.”2 wifes in the toilet. One come from  my seeds and one comes from her side. The one that I am angry about is comes from her side. The wifes that is “I didn’t do anything” doesn’t exist”

It is not healthy to express your anger to someone who doesn’t exist. It is crazy. If you express your anger to that wife, you are crazy.

Don’t complain to the person who doesn’t exist. It is not going to make you feel better or release the steam in the rice pot. Everyone who got angry today, they got angry at nothing. It is not healthy but insane.  I like Prof. Nick’s class. If you have a problem with somebody and you can fix it, just fix and shut up. If you have a problem if someone and you can’t fix it, just shut up .

Lifetool #5：Anger Helpers – Seed Burning Buddies, Pushing Through Pain, Until We Run Out of Irritants: It’s all just habit.

I remember some problems or  experiences with business partner or family whom hurt me the most, those are someone close to us.  I got stronger because of those problems. Every time when you have problem, you learn more. Every time when you something happened to you like divorce or your partner cheated on you, you  will ask “why me ? Why Me?’ One day, my teacher asked me to his room and showed me on the tv, one poor lady won a lottery ticket. He asked me to look at that lady, she didn’t ask ” Why Me ?” We only think about seed when bad things happened to us. You should thank those people that gave you the most problem. They are making you strong and think about seeds. Without them , you won’t think about seeds. They are Buddha, they try to make you upset.

In the picture, everyone is pointing at him, being mean to him. But tomorrow, he will be stronger as those people is helping him to burn off his bad seeds. When someone is getting angry of you, they are helping you to get rid of bad seeds. Next time when you partners yell at you, you should thank them. They must be wondering why you thank them when they said you are stupid. So, thank those people who make you angry

Lifetool #6：Living on poison: Peacock warriors

Peacocks eat poison for them to have beautiful feathers. They are strong like the superheroes. Just like peacocks, you don’t run away from difficult situation but to run to them.   Remember John talked about this. He flew his jet with tremendous speed. He said the real superheroes, if there an irritable person in the office, they will purposely make friend with this person. They are a lot of nice person in the office but there must be one or two people like to get angry. If you are like the peacock, you will be friendly to those irritate people instead of the nice people. Don’t run away from difficult situation, just run to it.

Lifetool #8：The lady on the Car – What did you expect from people?

A lady jump of a building and landed on top of a car. Why show this depressing picture. Shantideva from 1300 years ago in Tang dynasty, he said something beautiful. “Why are you surprise people get angry of you or hurt you? Every year many ten thousands of people kill themselves. They killed themselves with cigratte, alcohol, overeating. All people don’t even know how to love themselves.  Most people only love themselves but they still hurt themselves. All the people in the world is crazy including you and me. Why are you surprise they hurt you. It is in their nature.”

Lifetool #10: Our mother with a knife

Suppose this lady wants to hurt our family though I have a peaceful mind, do I defense my family and my loved one without anger? I took care of an old lady for many years. In the last few years of her life, she was given strong medication to take daily. As she got confused and took the medication a several times a day. It came to a time that we need to pay $100 for someone to take care of her medication. There is an instant that she took too much of the meditation and she forgot her daughter is visiting. She was preparing something in the kitchen and heard someone is opening the door thinking someone is trying to break into her house. Imagine your own mother came to you with the knife in hand going to hurt you to defense herself. You will not hurt her but you will try to hug her and take away her knife. She might cut you but worthy that you do not kill her.

This is how we need to think about people who is trying to hurt us. They are coming from your seeds. You need to fix the seeds, but it takes times. It is your responsibility to protect your precious life, to protect the precious life of your family and country without getting angry. And to try to find a way to restrain the person without hurting the person. If the person is your mother, you will find a way.